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Dad Loved Me

my dad loved me
gave away all he possessed
to other well placed siblings...

left me a life long memory
he comes to me daily
six decades since
still kisses me....

my dad really loved me
gave away all he could
to other greedy siblings...

left me a life long
everlasting memory
he comes to me daily
six decades since
wow kisses me...

After posting this small poem
my dad came in my dream
(this is factual)
and said
''Don't worry...Wait and see enjoy life
one day 'twill rain gold for thee

See me in picture this ...
but you can't download it ..
so be brave as always''

Grand message
he is still out there somewhere...
waiting for me .
I am in no hurry
my family is right here
still loving me...

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content


I thought this was really beautiful. But I'd remove some of this stanza. It takes away from your poem imo.

My dad came in my dream He said
''Don't worry...WAIT AND SEE...ENJOY LIFE...
See my picture this ... <---- this line I'd turn my into me
but you can't download it ..
be brave as always''

I'd remove that whole first line. It detracts from the flow of the poem. It's like an intermission thrust into the middle of the flow for me. Oh I'd also remove the captials it's like Dads yelling in your dream.

Other than those small things I think it's an excellent poem.

Love and hugs Sis x

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

since reviewed
as suggested ...sis

author comment

As an experiment, we are using a leading large language model (in other words, AI) to provide critiques of poems that were posted recently. Please let us know what you think.

Computer critique:

"My Dad Loved Me" is a free verse poem that explores the complexities of the relationship between the speaker and their father, as well as the impact of family dynamics on this relationship. The poem is written in a conversational tone, creating an intimate atmosphere that allows the reader to connect with the speaker's emotions and experiences.

The poem begins with the assertion that the speaker's father loved them, yet it immediately introduces a sense of conflict by stating that the father gave away all he possessed to other siblings. This juxtaposition effectively conveys the speaker's mixed feelings about their father's love and the perceived favoritism towards the other siblings.

Throughout the poem, the speaker reflects on the lifelong memory their father left behind, with the lines "he comes to me daily / six decades since / still kisses me." This image is both tender and haunting, underscoring the lasting impact of the father's presence in the speaker's life.

The poem takes an interesting turn when the speaker describes a dream in which their father offers reassurance and a promise of future prosperity: "Don't worry...WAIT AND SEE...ENJOY LIFE... / ONE DAY IT WILL RAIN GOLD FOR THEE." This moment adds depth to the poem, as it suggests a potential reconciliation or understanding between the speaker and their father.

The poem concludes with the speaker acknowledging the love and support of their present family, reinforcing the idea that they are not solely defined by their relationship with their father. This ending offers a sense of resolution and hope for the speaker, despite the lingering complexities of their feelings towards their father.

One area for improvement might be to refine the poem's structure and language. While the conversational tone is engaging, some of the phrasing and line breaks could be reworked to enhance the poem's flow and readability. Additionally, the poem's repetition of certain lines could be revised to create a stronger impact and further develop the themes explored in the piece.

In conclusion, "My Dad Loved Me" is a heartfelt and thought-provoking poem that delves into the complexities of a father-child relationship and the influence of family dynamics. The poem's conversational tone and intimate atmosphere effectively convey the speaker's emotions and experiences, while the exploration of themes such as love, memory, and hope adds depth and nuance to the piece. By refining the poem's structure and language, the overall impact and readability of the poem can be further enhanced.

I'm a bit tired unrest
This is your version
let some poem via AI surface first

Then We may discuss
OK Thanks
AI is not active yet ...perhaps my knowledge is worse

author comment

you are just dreaming of what you would have liked to have had, maybe your father was smarter than you think. Maybe he left your siblings all of his estate, because he knew that they would never be able to take care of themselves, whereas he knew that you would have enough brains to do for yourself. I agree, don't make your father shout, it ruins the feel of dreaming.
Otherwise, a really good piece. ~ Geez.

This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place

yes my dad never shouted at any so I realized ...removed all caps
Be happy Howz it now Gee

author comment

I think this is one of your best of late. Nice job! ~ Geez.

This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place

s Gee
ur great

author comment

as uuuu supose

author comment
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