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How does time fly

Submitted by lovedly on Sat, 2023-03-04 13:16

How does time fly
without any wings
no wind
no sails of cotton
nothing

yet they all say
time flies
isn't it an anomaly

even birds with broken wings can't fly
what uniqueness
God has shown me

Time flies without wings

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Sat, 2023-03-04 14:04

Geezer's picture
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this theme is good, but the whole of it is lost because
of a couple of things. The bales of cotton have nothing to do
with flying, and you have a double negative, in [no nothing].

You also have a typo in "even birds with broken [rings] can't fly
[What] uniqueness

You might fix the cotton bales flying by saying:
[no sails of cotton]

~ Geez.
.

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lovedly

Tue, 2023-03-07 10:42

lovedly's picture

Gee
thnx

author comment

Geezer

Wed, 2023-03-08 07:07

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Nicely done, lovedly. You have made this piece great. I detect a newness about you. Tell me I'm wrong, I dare you. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

lovedly

Wed, 2023-03-08 08:59

lovedly's picture

You only have given life to me how can I dare!

author comment

Geezer

Wed, 2023-03-08 09:17

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I have given you nothing that you did not have. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

lovedly

Wed, 2023-03-08 10:08

lovedly's picture

don't ever displace...lol

author comment

lovedly

Sun, 2023-03-05 01:10

lovedly's picture

I C u hv changed ur dress

author comment

lovedly

Sun, 2023-03-05 23:37

lovedly's picture

what else can one do

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lovedly

Mon, 2023-03-06 07:16

lovedly's picture

What do u have to say to that? poets

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