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sojourn of life

Train sojourn
You are here the poet of all times
light a candle darkness vanishes
keep moving about the train
your body is in equal equation
you become
a part of it in harmonic motion
and
then you can see
the blades of grass smiling

as the wind brushes thy face
on the moving train
your hair, if you have any
I have very little of it,
makes you feel the touch of glory
as the sojourn moves on
ere the end when comes the dawn
and you mourn
why did it have to dawn?

how you wished you could move on
but dawns are as inevitable too
as sunsets become true

so you enjoy the train of life
if only you have
love and sadness
the dawn springs

Okay wake up
now ends your sojourn
let come another dawn
morn after morn
life’s sojourn goes on and on
and on...

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Great
when ever I speak
they are all out to castrate
with age we have to make do
once in a way
as say you
esker knows too
you now do

the rise and fall of man
is not uncommon
it's only age
we all live in an old age
the world is flying at multi- jet speed
and
to the moon
we long ago did leap

yes moon- man
once in a blue
do across our oldies pages sweep
also

don't let oldies weep
they are still pedestals
may be now weak

young kids I see
with pistols of poetry
they blow more than they show
give them a place to know
how many did see their show
as they did
blow flow go etc so so

poetry otherwise one day will go
without a burial also

author comment

once in a while, you leave an awesome line just lying around and I don't think that you know what you have there. For example: "Young kids I see, with pistols of poetry
They blow, more than they show"
Natty line, that! ~ Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

on another site i visit
guys are only
composing poetry
on human pistols
theirs
as they activate
and
gals don't get scared
they all love to bare
and share
pellets loads et all
ere the guy's
falls

thus the pistol
I fired
which you alone here
has admired

author comment
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