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The Second Poetess (good she was).re-edit

Sun is the center stage of life
morning -dawn- evening twilight
the sun does rise
it never sets
it's for ever rising
some where.else

The center of our universe
and also us
is the Sun
we must converse
as the sun leads us
from the distant hill
from where it emerges
till its zenith
then it sets for us only
in our distant horizon
beyond the vast ocean.

O poet you will be one day like the Sun
when poetry of great poets is being sung.

Hopefully
I will be along
to be with you
ere the setting sun
in the distance

o poetess well done
you already are well sung
I am fascinated
by the way you write.

I have lived
submerged in poetry
all my life
ask my wife
(disgusted is she)
but have never encountered
any Poet like ye.

You´re refreshingly and genuinely
different
In positive ways
poet and poetess I say
so I is extremely happy today

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

speaking of the poet as a [she], I can only assume that it isn't me that you are speaking of. LoL
I find that the long lines and the format makes this a bit difficult to read. ~ Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Shall simplify
as say ye
surely

author comment

Nice poem, just a bit wordy. Methinks it needs tightenning up. Below I've given you an idea, to toss or take.

You´re [are] refreshingly and genuinely
[very] different!
In [a very]positive ways
poet and poetess I say.
so Iis very happy today

Sorry, what is lis? I live in Argentina and speak Spanish as well, so I tend to make mistakes or not understand.
I also think the dots are unnecessary. Just me.
Take care!

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"My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies; fairy tales of yesterday will grow but never die, I can fly, my friends.” – Freddie Mercury

now corrected gracefully

author comment
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