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When I Go......(the latest version read first)
When in the other world I, at last, bide
you will not ever, ever, really know
nor will you say that you at all denied
that it was now my turn and time to go.
As I fling kisses so many misses
you would not come here ever for to see
how many came to savor my kisses
coz at no time, you've been with me.
I still live, in my world, of hope
An intent with much, abundance
That you might dare with me to cope
Hopefully without reluctance.
Be as it may, my lovely dear
Kissy me without any fear.
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OLDER VERSION BELOW
When in the other world I, at last, bide
you will not ever, ever, really know
nor will you say that you at all denied
that it was now my turn and time to go.
As I fling kisses so many misses
you would not come here ever for to see
how many came to savor my kisses
because you have, at no time, been with me.
Yet I still live, in my own world, of hope
A delightful intent and much, in abundance
That you might still dare with me to cope
And you will try to make up, without reluctance.
Be as it may, my only, onetime lovely dear
Develop a permanent relationship, without fear.
Comments
Geezer
Thu, 2021-03-04 08:00
I think...
that it is better with: Or without reluctance. Nice work~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Lavender
Thu, 2021-03-04 08:18
When I Go
Hi, Lovedly,
Enjoyed the entire poem, but what an outstanding, wonderful last stanza!
Thank you!
L
lovedly
Thu, 2021-03-04 11:13
Lave you only make me stand out
and
I call myself Outstanding
Lol
thanks to you and Gee
thanks you two
keep my mind alive
I rarely breathe
lovedly
Thu, 2021-03-04 15:50
HELLO ALAN
PASS THE SONNET
WILL KINDLY YOU
lovedly
Sun, 2021-03-07 11:19
Alan your hand on my head.... is a sign
of the loud applause
so is stan's
to Neos I bow.
shall tweek as and when
in a fresher sonnet
I wish Judy of Hudson
could read it in heaven
lovedly
Sun, 2021-03-07 12:30
She tried her best when she was doing PhD in sonnetry
finally she gave up
a dull headed lovedly
can't even count syllables
what the fx a sonnet create will he
hope she now sheds no tears
next sonnet will be hers
hopefully she does not cry foe me
did you compose it stupidly
scribbler
Sun, 2021-03-07 09:43
See
Your head didn't explode writing a rhyme lol.
lovedly
Mon, 2021-03-08 13:20
thanks Stan
Another one in the pipe line
lovedly
Mon, 2021-03-08 14:25
be not confused
the top one I revised it
as directed by you
now I am BULB LIKE fused
top is new below
xxxxxx is old
the next one is in my pipeline
still at home lol Alan
will post after u pat my back
ahhhhhhhhhhha gotcchaaachaaa