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O My Friends..(THEY WERE THEN ) GEE ------ 2017.....

Submitted by lovedly on Fri, 2017-07-07 21:21

As I trudge along
the walking path of time
I lose all friends of mine

So never mind
you'll also
one day some day
if not any day
also be lost
not to be found

friends are a class breed
like human selected seed
of which only one counts..
out of millions sourced

all others are like free coupons
lodge them in the bins of garbage
let loose all such useless baggage
they have lost you on all counts

friends are only loving
adorable friends
when free goes
a scotch round
any friend still around
then one for the road
last round...
sad none were then found

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
OLD WINE IN NEW NOW PLASTIC BOTTLES...
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Contest: 
Neopoem Of The Week Contest December 11th to 17th 2022
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

riotface97

Sat, 2017-07-08 05:03

riotface97's picture
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Hey Lovedly,

Really liked this piece. I got a sense of raw honesty in your work, and I loved the way the colloquial tone seemed to dance around these somber images. Only one piece of constructive advice is that in the 3rd stanza I feel like the voice lost its essence a little and became more narrative. Perhaps this is a misconstruction on my end, but it stood out due to the fact that I found the second stanza absolutely beautiful in the way it seemed to sort of flow. Just a few thoughts.

Look forward to reading more of your work in the future,

Nicholas.

lovedly

Sat, 2017-07-08 11:36

lovedly's picture

for your maiden comparison
with a great poet
I shall pay heed soonly
and edit it
let others comment also please
thanks once again
to thee

author comment

lovedly

Sat, 2017-07-08 23:27

lovedly's picture

....like human seed!!!
of which only ''one'' counts..(OUT Of millions spilled ...)

I had a strange feeling I had read you some where in 2013
That is the time you may have been 18....
now add on 4 or 5 you must be 23..right?
so amend you may
your bio

for two years you have not replied any comment Then you started off and on
You have the makings of a genius poet, if you have understood my seed.... and you will be glad I recall... I read a few of your initial poetry... all comments not cared for
now you compared me with Bukowski
I have not read him
Yet I learn he was a great poet.
Poetry is basically a pass time ...a hobby,
after our lives
publisher alone enjoys..

so making an art
a source of earning for life
may be a false sense of an enterprise .
None the less as you have great inkling of freestyle
I also began at about 13 or 14 the adolescence years
when mind's trying to figure things
But my small piece of advice
as on Neopoet do read others
and once you are lucky to earn a comment
which you are wont to
admiration and credibility must ,as it ought to,
come from you

You have yet to reply my 2013 comment
young friend
All the best
lovedly

author comment

weirdelf

Sun, 2017-07-09 11:21

weirdelf's picture
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though he was very young when he first joined us he is a major talent and intelligence.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Sparrow

Sun, 2017-07-09 04:16

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A very good write from you, though don't cast all that are not your friends into the Garbage bin.
In all people there is a part that even the devil will love..
Anyway it's so smelly in here amongst all those discarded folk, but there is a truth among our companionship,
Yours as always Ian..

.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti

weirdelf

Sun, 2017-07-09 11:24

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There seems to be a dying fall in all your recent works.
If you have, I'm desperately sorry.
If I seem sceptical it is because you have a habit of attention seeking behaviour.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

lovedly

Sun, 2017-07-09 12:13

lovedly's picture

jess can't help it
may be narcissism of a kind
and
soon I will have to wind
(UP)
as I never get my cups worth
since I was born

can't help it many leave me forlorn
Hope you won't Jess

my cheers

author comment

lovedly

Sat, 2022-12-17 01:05

lovedly's picture

This was for older friends
mostly in heaven or beyond the reigns of neos
Will compile another one
Tomorrow may be

author comment
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