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My Love My Rotting Leaves (Round Robin)

My Love My Rotting Leaves (opening verses)
Submitted by mark on Sun, 2022-07-31 17:03

Apples are no treat for me
(or anyone really)
nothing to excite,
nothing like chocolate.

Chocolate for my cache
(a bag full)
on October 31
and Scarlet in her blue windbreaker.

Water towers reach high up
(and so did I)
behind her head for a hand
of fine blonde hair.

Oak trees all around the silver thing
with graffiti all over,
our name up there somewhere,
but the aroma of rotting leaves…

end Mark---------
start Cat--------

yes, our names up there, from where she fell
seeing her descent in slow motion
my eyes held her slim costumed body
as I dove into disbelief and shock's ocean

couldn't pull my eyes away from her small form
not breathing, so lifeless, how we all grieved
seeing her crumpled self, looking small,
we would remember the aroma of rotting leaves...

end Cat------------
start Geezer---------

Climbing up the water tower
to feel as though a king
She climbed with me, my promised queen
She wore my high-school ring

We laughed and faked a slip or two
grinned at eternal youth
We never thought of fear, my friend
and death was not a truth

A circle of her friends at grave
watched as the hole was filled
I smelled the rotting leaves again
the Autumn air was chilled

end Geezer
start Rosewood Apothecary

Her service now concluded
I took my sullen solitude
Walked with it for quite awhile
We both got lost within the mood

Wondering what might have been
If budding love had bloomed
Questions rot like fallen leaves
Within my laden heart entombed

End Rosewood Apothecary
Start RoseBlack

And so I wandered
Back to where she lay
Feeling the dirt beneath my nails
As I dug and scraped

My Autum love
I couldn't bare
To let her stay
Within the dirt there

I pulled her up
And brought her home
Safe in my arms
Rotting leaves swirling all around

End RoseBlack

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
Hope I did this right, guys!
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I think Tim Burton hasn’t a thing on us. Neil Gaiman still rules though. I really want this to continue because it’s got that Shadow and Laura Moon feel from American Gods.

Pretty inspired,
Tim

And yes, this certainly has the potential to continue. It could turn into quite the poetic story.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

Like little dioramas Wes Anderson style. Each with a different feel to compliment the writing styles. Or… comic book panels! Are we writing a graphic novel here? If we were to go another round Cat could start first??? She is a real live witch. Let’s have some necromancy. I’ll provide the “romancy”.

What do you think??
Getting kinda manic,
Tim

Necromancy is one of my favorite parts of magick! This would be an interesting flip book!

~RoseBlack~

author comment

That's a riot Carrie..
Mark

He just couldn't live without her

~RoseBlack~

author comment

Instead he gets pulled through the other way but at least they’re together??

Tomato/tamato...yes at least they are together.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

Instead he gets pulled through the other way but at least they’re together??

anyone see the "Corpse Bride"? so, do we start a new one or continue this story line? we could start a part #2?

*curious, cat

Carrie, this was kickin'

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I have seen Corpse Bride. I am a huge Tim Burton fan. We could keep this going and see where the story takes us. Perhaps Neopoet's first poetic story? I think we are on to something good and having fun with it as well. We have a talented group here. We just need Tim, Gee and Mark to weigh in

~RoseBlack~

author comment

Obviously I have seen the corpse bride as well. I think we have a good story going here that has an ending that is not only ambiguous but demands more.

“Love, holding more sway than death
Permanent bounds could not separate the pair
Her rank perfume of putrefaction
Diffused into air by the wind in her hair.”

As you can see I’ve been thinking about it.
Art everyday,
Tim

Now for Gee and Mark to weigh in...

~RoseBlack~

author comment

so am I. Mark? What do you think?

Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

maybe you should p.m. him?

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I even offered him any position behind you, as you are going first. I am okay with going last.
.

Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

My number.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

should I continue here or start a fresh page calling it part #2?

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Then we can see how the new order and the rule of free verse only suspended, works out. I would still like to keep it to twelve lines maximum and keep it manageable. This is a fun gig, I am enjoying this immensely! ~ Geez.
.

Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

I'll get to work on it after breakfast.

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

for some reason neo won't let me submit my contribution. could I post it here and then one of you darklings post it in a new post (for me?)

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I got it...

having strange internet problems

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

In the order

~RoseBlack~

author comment

Cat, Geezer, myself, Rose Black, Mark I believe.

Tim

This is really a lot of fun.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

it is down the list a bit. who is next?

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

for a reply from Mark, as I have offered him a chance to change his position as incentive to continue with the part #2. ~ Geez.
.

Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

he will go last, so that means I'm up, then Carrie and Tim. Iam excited!
~ Geez.
.

Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

Will be looking for your next installment and then will prepare mine.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

post it under part #2.

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

for forgetting the line-up! I promise that the next one will go better. I had put it down wrong the last time, [I should never rely on my memory]. I promised Mark he can start the next one and then the order will be set in stone! LoL
~ Geez.
.

Writing purely for oneself, is the ultimate in defensive posture.

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