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This or That

This or that,
Her or me.
Can't have both,
chaos verses normalcy.

Love or hate,
escape to fate.
Gladness turns to madness,
hand delivered from hell's gate.

Needle or smoke,
one last toke,
was it worth the cost
and everyone you lost?

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I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
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Not Explicit Content
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Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "This or That" presents a series of binary choices, creating a sense of tension and conflict. The use of rhyme and rhythm is consistent, which helps to establish a clear structure. However, the poem could benefit from more detailed and specific imagery to deepen the emotional impact and help readers connect more strongly with the themes.

In the first stanza, the choice between "her or me" and "chaos verses normalcy" is intriguing, but could be expanded upon. Providing more context or detail about these characters and situations could make the conflict more engaging.

The second stanza introduces the themes of love, hate, and fate, but the transition from "gladness" to "madness" seems abrupt. It could be helpful to explore this transformation more thoroughly, perhaps by adding more lines or stanzas.

The third stanza shifts to a new set of choices, "Needle or smoke" and "one last toke." This stanza introduces the theme of addiction, which is a powerful subject. However, the final line, "and everyone you lost?" is somewhat vague. It could be beneficial to specify who or what has been lost to make the consequences of the choices more tangible.

Overall, the poem could benefit from a deeper exploration of its themes and more specific, vivid imagery. This would help to create a stronger emotional connection with readers and enhance the impact of the poem.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

I think the poem progresses very well. To most, this world is unfathomable. It is a very rocky reality. I was addicted to the ritual of the scenario and that it only requires one person to do. but then I preferred the Hermit aspect...I was a selfish practitioner of (alone) My favorite lines are:

Needle or smoke,
one last toke,
was it worth the cost
and everyone you lost?

I much like this poem...

*hugs, Cat

I comes down to either Sh!t or get off the pot, die or die, not.

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

AI is always asking me for more info but when I give more info it doesn't like it. Sometimes I feel like I am in a never ending game of this or that

~RoseBlack~

author comment

AI should be glad that it doesn't have emotions.
They are a never-ending source of trouble. Well done, ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

AI doesnt really want to know more. And emotions are stupid. I think I am done with them.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

Hello, Carrie,
Gladness turns to madness,
hand delivered from hell's gate.

Very strong! Really measures up the mood for the entire poem. Nurturing or toxic...
Thank you,
L

Life is a set of choices. When you are given something good and choose the opposite, it blows my mind. Thank you for the read and comment.

~RoseBlack~

author comment
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