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My Love My Rotting Leaves (Round Robin)
My Love My Rotting Leaves (opening verses)
Submitted by mark on Sun, 2022-07-31 17:03
Apples are no treat for me
(or anyone really)
nothing to excite,
nothing like chocolate.
Chocolate for my cache
(a bag full)
on October 31
and Scarlet in her blue windbreaker.
Water towers reach high up
(and so did I)
behind her head for a hand
of fine blonde hair.
Oak trees all around the silver thing
with graffiti all over,
our name up there somewhere,
but the aroma of rotting leaves…
end Mark---------
start Cat--------
yes, our names up there, from where she fell
seeing her descent in slow motion
my eyes held her slim costumed body
as I dove into disbelief and shock's ocean
couldn't pull my eyes away from her small form
not breathing, so lifeless, how we all grieved
seeing her crumpled self, looking small,
we would remember the aroma of rotting leaves...
end Cat------------
start Geezer---------
Climbing up the water tower
to feel as though a king
She climbed with me, my promised queen
She wore my high-school ring
We laughed and faked a slip or two
grinned at eternal youth
We never thought of fear, my friend
and death was not a truth
A circle of her friends at grave
watched as the hole was filled
I smelled the rotting leaves again
the Autumn air was chilled
end Geezer
start Rosewood Apothecary
Her service now concluded
I took my sullen solitude
Walked with it for quite awhile
We both got lost within the mood
Wondering what might have been
If budding love had bloomed
Questions rot like fallen leaves
Within my laden heart entombed
End Rosewood Apothecary
Start RoseBlack
And so I wandered
Back to where she lay
Feeling the dirt beneath my nails
As I dug and scraped
My Autum love
I couldn't bare
To let her stay
Within the dirt there
I pulled her up
And brought her home
Safe in my arms
Rotting leaves swirling all around
End RoseBlack
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words:
Hope I did this right, guys!
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
Rosewood Apothecary
Thu, 2022-08-04 19:11
Macabre
I think Tim Burton hasn’t a thing on us. Neil Gaiman still rules though. I really want this to continue because it’s got that Shadow and Laura Moon feel from American Gods.
Pretty inspired,
Tim
RoseBlack
Thu, 2022-08-04 19:15
I live/dwell in the Macabre
And yes, this certainly has the potential to continue. It could turn into quite the poetic story.
~RoseBlack~
author commentRosewood Apothecary
Thu, 2022-08-04 19:17
These are little short films
Like little dioramas Wes Anderson style. Each with a different feel to compliment the writing styles. Or… comic book panels! Are we writing a graphic novel here? If we were to go another round Cat could start first??? She is a real live witch. Let’s have some necromancy. I’ll provide the “romancy”.
What do you think??
Getting kinda manic,
Tim
RoseBlack
Thu, 2022-08-04 19:19
I like your thought process
Necromancy is one of my favorite parts of magick! This would be an interesting flip book!
~RoseBlack~
author commentRoseBlack
Thu, 2022-08-04 21:17
Hahaha
He just couldn't live without her
~RoseBlack~
author commentRosewood Apothecary
Thu, 2022-08-04 21:50
Ah so necromancy gone wrong
Instead he gets pulled through the other way but at least they’re together??
RoseBlack
Thu, 2022-08-04 22:02
Necromancy/necrophilia
Tomato/tamato...yes at least they are together.
~RoseBlack~
author commentRosewood Apothecary
Thu, 2022-08-04 21:50
Ah so necromancy gone wrong
Instead he gets pulled through the other way but at least they’re together??
Candlewitch
Fri, 2022-08-05 04:31
hey guys,
anyone see the "Corpse Bride"? so, do we start a new one or continue this story line? we could start a part #2?
*curious, cat
Carrie, this was kickin'
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
RoseBlack
Fri, 2022-08-05 05:44
Hi Cat
I have seen Corpse Bride. I am a huge Tim Burton fan. We could keep this going and see where the story takes us. Perhaps Neopoet's first poetic story? I think we are on to something good and having fun with it as well. We have a talented group here. We just need Tim, Gee and Mark to weigh in
~RoseBlack~
author commentRosewood Apothecary
Fri, 2022-08-05 06:29
I say let’s do another round through
Obviously I have seen the corpse bride as well. I think we have a good story going here that has an ending that is not only ambiguous but demands more.
“Love, holding more sway than death
Permanent bounds could not separate the pair
Her rank perfume of putrefaction
Diffused into air by the wind in her hair.”
As you can see I’ve been thinking about it.
Art everyday,
Tim
RoseBlack
Fri, 2022-08-05 07:58
I am in
Now for Gee and Mark to weigh in...
~RoseBlack~
author commentGeezer
Fri, 2022-08-05 09:08
If everyone else is in...
so am I. Mark? What do you think?
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place
Candlewitch
Fri, 2022-08-05 09:21
dear Gee,
maybe you should p.m. him?
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Geezer
Fri, 2022-08-05 09:40
I did...
I even offered him any position behind you, as you are going first. I am okay with going last.
.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place
RoseBlack
Fri, 2022-08-05 09:59
Just let me know
My number.
~RoseBlack~
author commentCandlewitch
Fri, 2022-08-05 10:01
thanks Gee,
should I continue here or start a fresh page calling it part #2?
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Geezer
Fri, 2022-08-05 10:11
Let's call it part two...
Then we can see how the new order and the rule of free verse only suspended, works out. I would still like to keep it to twelve lines maximum and keep it manageable. This is a fun gig, I am enjoying this immensely! ~ Geez.
.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place
Candlewitch
Fri, 2022-08-05 10:29
okay,
I'll get to work on it after breakfast.
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Candlewitch
Fri, 2022-08-05 11:19
having problems...
for some reason neo won't let me submit my contribution. could I post it here and then one of you darklings post it in a new post (for me?)
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Candlewitch
Fri, 2022-08-05 11:26
never mind...
I got it...
having strange internet problems
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
RoseBlack
Fri, 2022-08-05 11:29
Where am i
In the order
~RoseBlack~
author commentRosewood Apothecary
Fri, 2022-08-05 12:04
Round two is…
Cat, Geezer, myself, Rose Black, Mark I believe.
Tim
RoseBlack
Fri, 2022-08-05 12:16
Thanks Tim
This is really a lot of fun.
~RoseBlack~
author commentCandlewitch
Fri, 2022-08-05 12:18
I submitted mine in a new post
it is down the list a bit. who is next?
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Geezer
Fri, 2022-08-05 12:55
I'm waiting...
for a reply from Mark, as I have offered him a chance to change his position as incentive to continue with the part #2. ~ Geez.
.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place
Geezer
Fri, 2022-08-05 13:11
Mark says...
he will go last, so that means I'm up, then Carrie and Tim. Iam excited!
~ Geez.
.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place
RoseBlack
Fri, 2022-08-05 13:44
I am excited
Will be looking for your next installment and then will prepare mine.
~RoseBlack~
author commentCandlewitch
Fri, 2022-08-05 13:54
make sure to:
post it under part #2.
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
Geezer
Fri, 2022-08-05 14:18
Sorry to all...
for forgetting the line-up! I promise that the next one will go better. I had put it down wrong the last time, [I should never rely on my memory]. I promised Mark he can start the next one and then the order will be set in stone! LoL
~ Geez.
.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place