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Sweet dreams..waffless
Sweet dreams
Sweet dreams are written in heaven
for those who are happily married
those still distraught
are in fallacious search caught
searching wild in the wilderness
all day all night
so let the wavering winds blow
and as we from here all go
late into the eerie night
day break bring violet light
let red roses spray fragrance too
of love and affection on all of you
like rainbows true
with a smiling hue
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
judyanne
Tue, 2015-03-17 00:37
lol
Nice loved
But 'winds of change' --- too cliche
Can you think of a unique way to say it?
Love judy
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
lovedly
Tue, 2015-03-17 10:06
flapping winds may be
what do you think Judie
glad you now laugh at me
rflol hahaha!
scribbler
Tue, 2015-03-17 22:23
hello
Not all marriages bear sweet dreams lol. But I' damned lucky that mine has given me few night mares. Might try let the storms of pruning blow if you want to say that line differently.........stan
lovedly
Tue, 2015-03-17 23:21
squint eyed
Might try let the storms of pruning blow if you want to say that line differently.........stan??????
couldn't follow what and why why lie>?
scribbler
Wed, 2015-03-18 09:01
Oh
Judy suggested a change for winds of change. That's the line I referred to
lovedly
Wed, 2015-03-18 09:39
what would you like it to be as winds keep changing here at
mighty speed
''' let the winds race with speed ''
may be? just see
lovedly
Wed, 2015-03-18 09:42
so let the winds of change
so let the winds of change blow
and as we from here all go
'''so let the winds race with speed
and with it slice away human greed...''
any better is it
late into the night etc....
Sparrow
Wed, 2015-03-18 11:38
Loved
I recently gave you a complete list of winds,
any of these will do,
but pick one that in your area doth blow..
So let the Zephyr of life flow.
Come on we wrote of many for you to choose lol,
Take care young Bard and don't get the Wind/Wind up just you do your own thing,
Yours Ian..
.
Give critique to help keep Neopoet great.
Unconditional love to you all.
"Learn to love yourself first"
Yours as always, Ian.T, Sparrow, and Yenti
lovedly
Wed, 2015-03-18 14:10
i get ur hint
i will let my wind flutter
as it does still
i won't my waffle kill
winds blow
we all know
gone be the wind
along with the bard
with in
lovedly
Wed, 2015-03-18 14:10
i get ur hint
i will let my wind flutter
as it does still
i won't my waffle kill
winds blow
we all know
gone be the wind
along with the bard
with in
raj
Wed, 2015-03-18 14:17
Lovedly
good one...i suggest you keep the two line pattern through and through instead of 1 sanza which is of 3 verses...
choose an alternate to "fumes" because fumes conveys pollution rather than fragrance, scent, aroma...
A good read,
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
lovedly
Wed, 2015-03-18 14:33
thanks
raj _sublime
for u being so
gen... you... ine
lovedly
Wed, 2015-03-18 14:41
i have
condensed it
raj
Wed, 2015-03-18 14:55
Lovedly
to me it looks nicely condensed now
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
lovedly
Wed, 2015-03-18 19:40
thank you so much ...Raj _ sublime _mumbai@ jahoo***..kom
the ocean Indian
judyanne
Fri, 2015-03-20 04:42
lovely loved
Great revisions
xxx
'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)
lovedly
Fri, 2015-03-20 09:25
Thanks Judie
all your good wishes