The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Two Moons" utilizes metaphor and personification to convey a narrative of love, loss, and grief. However, there are a few areas where the poem could be improved.

1. Consistency in Metaphor: The metaphor of the two moons is a powerful image, but it becomes slightly confusing when stars and lightning are introduced. It might be more effective to stick to one celestial metaphor throughout the poem to maintain consistency and clarity.

2. Rhythm and Meter: The rhythm of the poem is somewhat inconsistent, which can disrupt the flow for the reader. Consider revising the lines to have a more consistent meter, which can enhance the musicality of the poem and make it more engaging to read.

3. Show, Don't Tell: The line "Rage overtook desire" tells the reader what the moon is feeling, but it might be more impactful to show this emotion through imagery or action. For example, you could describe the moon's actions in a way that conveys its rage and desire.

4. Clarity of Narrative: The narrative of the poem becomes slightly unclear in the third and fourth stanzas. It might be helpful to provide more context or explanation for why the moon is crying and why the other moon drifted away.

5. Use of Language: Some phrases, such as "wonder lust" and "electric orbs of rejection", are somewhat ambiguous and might confuse the reader. Consider revising these phrases to make their meaning clearer.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

she was the only one left? Yeah... It sucks when you have things all set for a happy ending and then it crashes and burns.
Sorry you hurt, maybe things will change tomorrow, hey they changed from yesterday right? ~ Geez.
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I read this and saw the dawn of time, the big bang, the creation of the universe, not in a biblical sense, but that old story has a place somewhere in our psyche? I loved your references to volcanoes as a means to highlight the era before time began. This is perfect, "Molten tears of bitterness" it is a beautiful way to describe the action. Loved it, Ruby :)

You're welcome, you made it easy with this poem, well thought through and the delivery was epic. Ruby :)