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Secrets

Submitted by RoseBlack on Sat, 2022-08-20 09:54

Makeshift walls
Built around the concrete slabs of my mind
Hands tied by hope
Choking on all the lies

Mother said it was for the best
If we don't talk about her; she didn't exist
Brother stayed their favorite; everyone loved him so
If they only knew what I know....

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Candlewitch

Sat, 2022-08-20 10:06

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secrets indeed! and the reason they remain hushed up is deplorable! why are we not allowed to speak these truths?

*hugs, Cat

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RoseBlack

Sat, 2022-08-20 10:29

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You would think after having a wonderful upbringing with two parents who love me very much, I would not have any difficult feelings towards the one who gave me up and how she hid me and my one brother tried to keep me hidden. All because of secrets. Secrets destroy no matter how old you are or how you were raised. :(

~RoseBlack~

author comment

Depressed 1

Sat, 2022-08-20 11:55

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I really liked this one. Secrets hurt hundreds of times more than the truth.

https://www.artofelpaso.com/

RoseBlack

Sat, 2022-08-20 11:58

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And to find out that you are one of the biggest secrets of all is absolutely mind blowing.

~RoseBlack~

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Geezer

Sat, 2022-08-20 20:18

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is that I know the story! I am impressed with what you did in only eight lines!
Very nice, this may be my all-time favorite of yours! ~ Geez.
.

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RoseBlack

Sun, 2022-08-21 13:21

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For the high praise. I am starting to learn that less is more :)

~RoseBlack~

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Jackweb

Sun, 2022-08-21 10:43

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My favourite lines:

Makeshift walls
Built around the concrete slabs of my mind
Hands tied by hope
Choking on all the lies

Very beautiful! With the splendor of creativity.
.

"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".

~Jackweb

RoseBlack

Sun, 2022-08-21 13:22

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Glad you enjoyed

~RoseBlack~

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