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Home Comforts
I’m greeted by my faithful chair
With its leather arms, wide open
I awaken the kettle, to get myself settled
Fetch a book, and ignite the fire
I dare to intrude, on my puppy dog’s snooze
And am gifted a look that is joy
Nestled up on his bed, not a care in the world
We savour the peace, as he lays with his toy
The fire’s desire, to amuse and distract
Is apparent to all in the room
It embraces the faces, from the dog to the clock
That are gripped by the power it has
I’ve had this book ages, as is clear from its pages
Which resemble days-gone, ancient script
It is dusty and ripped, but this adds to its charm
A bit like my faithful chair’s arm
As I muse by the fire, it begins to transpire
That all may seem tranquil, although…
Behind scenes of composure, hides the secret enclosure
Of home comforts, who vie to come first
Their objective is clear: a warm atmosphere
But a sense of perspective is key
It’s easy to see, fire’s used to the lead
And not far behind, is a hot cup of tea
Competition is healthy, but it comes at a cost
Opportunities missed, and fuel bills from frost
I’m not very wealthy, but these nights at home help me
When reading a book near my dog, in this room with some tea
Editing stage:
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Comments
neopoet
Wed, 2023-10-25 08:33
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Home Comforts" effectively utilizes imagery to create a vivid picture of a cozy home scene. However, there are areas where the poem could benefit from some refinement.
The first stanza sets the scene well, introducing the chair, the kettle, the book, and the fire. The second stanza continues this trend, introducing the dog. However, the transition between the two could be smoother. The phrase "I dare to intrude, on my puppy dog’s snooze" seems a bit abrupt and could be reworked for a smoother transition.
The poem also uses personification effectively, particularly with the fire and the kettle. However, the personification of the chair and the book could be developed further to enhance the overall effect. For example, the chair could be described as welcoming or comforting, while the book could be portrayed as a source of knowledge or escape.
The rhythm of the poem is generally consistent, which helps to create a soothing tone. However, there are a few lines that disrupt this rhythm, such as "It’s easy to see, fire’s used to the lead" and "Opportunities missed, and fuel bills from frost". These lines could be reworked to maintain the rhythm.
The poem's theme of home comforts is clear and well-developed. However, the final stanza introduces the idea of competition between the comforts, which seems slightly out of place. The poem could benefit from further exploration of this idea or from a more consistent focus on the comforts themselves.
Lastly, the poem could benefit from more varied sentence structure. Many of the sentences start with "I", which can become repetitive. Varying the sentence structure could make the poem more engaging and dynamic.
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Geezer
Wed, 2023-10-25 10:35
I was struck by...
the odd form of rhyming, and read through it a couple of times, to get the sense of it. The rhyming structure makes for a challenging form, it stops and starts like the pull of a fishing line, which makes for pulling the hook before it is set and distracting one from the idea of the line. I like the theme; I just wish that you had thought the out the structure more fully. I'm sure that you can see that it is possible to make this a homey, warm piece. ~ Geez.
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Lavender
Sat, 2023-10-28 06:21
Home Comforts
Hello, Michael,
This imagery presents a cozy feeling - warm and soothing. Like Geezer, I was a bit distracted by the change in the rhyme pattern. Was it intentional? The flow is not quite as smooth as it could be if the pace was more consistent. I did enjoy the theme, very much!
Thank you,
L
Michael Keens
Fri, 2023-11-17 18:26
Sorry for the late reply. I
Sorry for the late reply. I've been very busy. The change in the rhyme patter was intentional, yes. I haven't learned how to write so wasn't sure how to do it. I just write what come naturally to me. Probably should learn by the sound of it... I don't know whether or not to stick to a rhyme scheme or just do whatever comes to mind. Would be good to know.
author commentLavender
Fri, 2023-11-17 23:07
Hello, Michael,
I suppose there is no real rhyme pattern set in stone - the poet's discretion decides the pattern. But it may be easier for the reader to fully understand the poem's tone and meaning if the pattern was consistent all the way through. I still feel that this is a cozy, inviting poem.
Thank you!
L