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Don't Look a Gift Horse in The Mouth

Although the night was cold
And the rain poured down
The crafty old fox, still felt bold.
He put up with the weather
Because he thought he was clever.
So, he conjured up a plan –
Living nearby was a horse called Gift.
The fox kept his eye, on the horse for a while
Whilst licking his lips – he was hungry, they were dry.
The horse was as fit as a fiddle
Because of the grass he ate - healthy greens.
The fox with white socks and red fur
Could also eat grass but meat he preferred
He ran up the hill in for the kill.
Cockey, confident and completely undeterred
It caught up with the horse which wasn’t hard.
But the red-furred mammal had taken a gamble:
Gift was gifted in pre-empting trouble.
The crafty old fox looked him straight in the face
He once again licked his lips, but the horse was braced
Braced for the moment he could be bitten.
Gift was sturdy but the fox was at first smitten.
The tables were turned because Gift was swift
He dug his teeth into the fox beneath.
The fox looked up to him, as a sign of respect
Once bitten, twice shy – a defence effect.
Gift went north, and the fox’s pride went south.
Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth!

Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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parable that could be made smoother; by making the lines fit together better. One thing about using rhyme; when you do, it makes it so much better when the rhythm is ordered. Meter is not only about rhyming, but it is also about flow, let your words echo in your head, read them out loud. You will see where the bumps are, work on them to make them blend into the idea, rather than just spewing them, as you say. ~ Geezer.

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this poetry has a great potential to it. I however find some lines longer than others which makes it a bit difficult for the reader.
also throwing some rhymes give it the musicality that makes poetry different than prose.
just suggestions. Please feel free to take or leave.
Thank you for sharing . Looking forward to reading more from your pen.


Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

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