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Silence splinters surreptitiously,
Reverberating, ricocheting rigorously,
Empty echoes ebb throughout my veins,
Noiseless screams devoid into nothingness.

Folded within myself,
Holding my heart with trembling hands,
Bleeding out from what could've been,
Forever is fakeness, lost again.

Translucent shell, now my home
Where a woman used to be
Bones and baggage hollowed out
For everyone to see

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Hollow" effectively uses alliteration and internal rhyme to create a rhythmic flow and to enhance the mood of the piece. The use of words such as "silence", "empty", "noiseless", "hollowed out", and "translucent" all contribute to the theme of emptiness and loss, creating a poignant and melancholic tone.

The second stanza introduces a personal element with the use of first person pronouns, which makes the emotional content more immediate and impactful. However, the transition from the abstract to the personal could be smoother. The phrase "Forever is fakeness, lost again" is somewhat ambiguous and could benefit from clarification to better connect with the preceding and following lines.

The final stanza uses concrete imagery ("translucent shell", "bones and baggage") to convey the speaker's state of being, which is effective. However, the phrase "For everyone to see" seems to introduce a new idea - the public nature of the speaker's pain - that isn't fully explored or integrated into the rest of the poem. This line could be revised to more closely align with the established themes of the poem.

In terms of structure, the poem maintains a consistent four-line stanza format, which provides a solid framework for the content. However, the rhythm is somewhat inconsistent, which can disrupt the flow of the poem. Experimenting with syllable count or stress patterns could help to create a more consistent rhythm.

Overall, the poem effectively conveys a sense of emptiness and loss through its use of language and imagery. With some refinement in terms of clarity, thematic consistency, and rhythm, it could be even more impactful.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to

the silence is deafening. I hear it all the time. It rings hollow, like the tolling of a bell. I was impressed by the sense of isolation
in every line. ~ Geez.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I was experimenting with alliteration and vocabulary. Trying to find different words to liven things up a little. Glad you liked it.


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