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O friend
O My Friend
We walk along side a river
and
see the waters flow silently
many friends
come and go
but the river
continues to flow.
then you hear
a call,
friend
do not mindlessly walk,
the edges are sandy
all bends are deceptive
perhaps
if one does not know,
one may drown
and
you are a stranger
out of town
but do come along
yet take me not wrong
friend I am only
only for a while,
as the river
enters the ocean
I surely will say
good bye
till then do abide
enjoy your stride...
side by side
ere the tide
does subside!
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
mand
Mon, 2015-01-05 03:59
Hello Lovedly
There is a friend sticking closer than a brother! You have captured the essence of that - with all it's twists and turns, dangers and joys.
One little typo ( unless you meant to do it for emphasis )
yet take me not wrong
friend I am only ( only is used twice - did you mean to do it? )
only for a while,
as the river
Very well done Lovedly! :)
Love Mand xxxx
lovedly
Mon, 2015-01-05 09:53
thank u shall reread first only=friend
first only= friend
second only= time wise in essence
may be do reread
perhaps a small , may do shall if u say so
mand
Mon, 2015-01-05 10:33
O.k
I see what you mean! :)
lovedly
Mon, 2015-01-05 11:04
great
glad u do thanks