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What life means to me

Submitted by Trouble on Tue, 2022-08-30 20:23

My year's of happiness
That my mother and father gave.
It was married to the sadness
When both of them passed away.
My life continues with their love I saved
but the kiss of a girl
was my youth forever changed.
I'm older now years of happiness
simplified in each and every way
Because my girlfriend is my family
That I had prayed

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Geezer

Wed, 2022-08-31 06:19

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So glad to see you writing again. I think I would like to see you expand on the part about the girlfriend and how her love has helped you get over your parents' death. The last line seems kind of short and doesn't feel like it makes a connection. ~ Geezer.
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Trouble

Wed, 2022-08-31 20:09

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Hey hey Geezer yes I agree so it's still a work in progress I truly intend to add move I was only trying to get it started and recorded

author comment

Geezer

Wed, 2022-08-31 23:24

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keep it going! ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

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