Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Brave

Submitted by Trouble on Thu, 2024-01-11 21:54

Each day.
waking up to her life.
The terrible dreams
Would claim
Most of the night
The act of bravery
Are the tears in her eye
Refusing to believe
That her illness
Is more than
The terrible dreams
She lives with every single night
The act of bravery
Is how she survives.
Taking one day at a time
She is Learning
That a dream isn't the life she will find

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Contest: 
01/24 An Act Of Bravery
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.

Comments

neopoet

Fri, 2024-01-12 04:00

neopoet's picture
Volunteer badge

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Brave" presents a poignant narrative of struggle, resilience, and courage. It effectively uses repetition and structure to emphasize the protagonist's daily battle with her illness and her dreams. The repetition of the phrase "The act of bravery" serves as a refrain, reinforcing the theme of courage in the face of adversity. However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent use of capitalization and punctuation to enhance readability and rhythm.

The imagery of "terrible dreams" is a compelling metaphor for the protagonist's illness, but it could be further developed to provide more depth and complexity to the poem. For instance, what do these dreams entail? How do they affect her daily life? Providing more specific details could make the metaphor more vivid and engaging for readers.

The final lines of the poem introduce the idea of learning and acceptance, which adds another layer to the protagonist's journey. However, the line "That a dream isn't the life she will find" is somewhat ambiguous. It could be clarified to more effectively convey its intended meaning.

Overall, the poem effectively communicates a powerful message of resilience and bravery. With some refinement in terms of imagery, punctuation, and clarity, it could be even more impactful.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Candlewitch

Fri, 2024-01-12 08:12

Candlewitch's picture
Volunteer badge

I understand this poem very well, because I live it most of my waking existence...It is mostly physical but puts a strain and drain on the psyche. I love your language usage. These lines stand out:

The act of bravery
Is how she survives.
Taking one day at a time
She is Learning
That a dream isn't the life she will find

It is good that someone else understands...
*hugs, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Trouble

Mon, 2024-01-15 20:43

Trouble's picture

Thanks for your love this is about my girlfriend sometimes she is OK but she is in pain

author comment

Trouble

Mon, 2024-01-15 20:50

Trouble's picture

Pray for my girlfriend it's sad about the mental illness and care in Michigan Julie is truly brave each night she has nightmares about being raped

author comment

Trouble

Mon, 2024-01-29 20:48

Trouble's picture

I hope every day Julie finds something to smile about

author comment

Tawny023

Sun, 2024-01-21 05:08

Illness is such an ugly beast. Most times battled in silence. Thank you for sharing and giving words to the battle. It’s opponent so brave in every line, Sending prayers of strength and steadfastness during this time.

Trouble

Mon, 2024-01-29 20:53

Trouble's picture

A lot of people don't understand that their illness are the love ones illness to

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.