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JJ

Submitted by Trouble on Fri, 2022-09-09 22:55

Pressley has many questions to explain
Can you love me
Julie needs this answer
To free her heart from the years of pain
Why me
my soul is chain
Julies relationship's
Consistency adds to her mind of blame
Tell me why when I look into the mirror
All I see is shame
This is a question that pressley needs to explain
Julie your beautiful more than your life of pain
I want you too believe that happiness
With me won't ever change
I promise to break that mirror of blame
With the words I love you and happiness
Erases the history that you can not shake

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words: 
It's hard for my girlfriend to believe in true love
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Lavender

Sat, 2022-09-10 11:13

Lavender's picture
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Hello, Trouble,
This is a very relatable poem, very tender. My favorite line: "Julie your beautiful more than your life a pain." (May I tweek a bit?) "Julie, you are more beautiful than your life of pain." Very touching, as is the entire poem. There are some spelling and grammar issues, and I'm a little confused how many people are in here...Julie, Pressley, and "I" which seems to change identity a couple times. But I feel it.
Thank you!
Lavender

Trouble

Sat, 2022-09-10 18:03

Trouble's picture

Thank you lavender for taking the time frist to read my poem secondly to respond to this piece. So let me say this I am a musician that can play beautiful music but l lack the training of the proper grammar and sometimes spelling to put my music on paper. Next I struggle with the identity issues I wanted readers to be able to have an anchor which was pressley and Julie but I know that I sometimes changed the prospective with some of the lines. Much love to you lavender I would like to know your name of course my name is pressley

author comment

Trouble

Sat, 2022-09-10 18:03

Trouble's picture

Thank you lavender for taking the time frist to read my poem secondly to respond to this piece. So let me say this I am a musician that can play beautiful music but l lack the training of the proper grammar and sometimes spelling to put my music on paper. Next I struggle with the identity issues I wanted readers to be able to have an anchor which was pressley and Julie but I know that I sometimes changed the prospective with some of the lines. Much love to you lavender I would like to know your name of course my name is pressley

author comment
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