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Weather Watch...

Submitted by Geezer on Fri, 2018-03-02 11:14

Oatmeal, toast and coffee
Peanut butter and jelly
Morning fare and a joint
I’ve seen to my soul and belly

What a wonder is the internet
I’ve been all around the world
Sitting here in my captain’s chair
I’ve watched it all unfurl

I’ve friends in G.B. Britain
I’m friended here and there
Anonymous, I sit here
You can’t see my un-brushed hair

Pajamas, robe and slippers
I talk with friends all around
Tapping keys and T.V. news
Are the only sounds

Facebook news and play some games
Hello; Aussieland, my mates
Sipping coffee, eating lunch
Text to friends in other states

Do it all the time, most days
Can’t wait for warmer weather
Boring life, it gets to be
Seems like winter is forever

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

raj

Fri, 2018-03-02 13:38

I liked the humor and realism of a typical modern day which you have blended cleverly in these verses with which many can relate to i think..
.......

raj (sublime_ocean)

Geezer

Fri, 2018-03-02 20:21

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This one was born of a moment that I had in thinking about getting up and dressed for the day.
[Actually, I had already been up and dressed, so as to take my step-son to work]. But when I come home and take off the outer garments, I usually go back to jammies, robe and slippers, unless I have somewhere else to go. [I hate the winter weather as I have lung and circulation problems], I then lounge around the rest of the day and sail the seas of the Internet. ~ Geezer

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raj

Sat, 2018-03-03 04:51

Geezer you sketched that routine pretty well
.....

raj (sublime_ocean)

lovedly

Sat, 2018-03-03 13:16

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...

Geezer

Sat, 2018-03-03 10:43

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as he calls me step-father. There is no disrespect on either side, we do it to clarify the relationship.
When the boys were younger and in school, the question often came up as to why they had different last name. It has just become habit. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

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scribbler

Sat, 2018-03-03 09:03

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You mean you don't don a coat and tie before sitting at key board??? lmao. The younger folks don't realize how amazing it is that we can now talk to people all over and, indeed, even Have a site like Neopoet. And all from a bit of melted sand......stan

Geezer

Sat, 2018-03-03 10:54

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I am glad not to have the camera on, and you should be too! Lol. Yeah, they take this stuff for granted and don't realize what a marvel it really is. ~ Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

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chevyvent

Sat, 2018-03-03 15:13

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really good piece you got here very good towards the heart keep it going now very free flowing

Mario Vitale

Geezer

Sat, 2018-03-03 17:23

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Glad you enjoyed. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

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IRiz

Sat, 2018-03-03 22:21

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Hello Geezer, dear, dear!
brush your hair, clean your ears,
dust the carpets, swipe the floors.
You don't know when the real
world will knock
into your doors.
Spring is near.
Time when virtual and real
things collide and chaos
takes control over your life.
Keep your cup of coffee near,
be prepared, dear Geezer.

IRiz

Geezer

Sun, 2018-03-04 07:15

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when Mother Nature says so! I was prepared for it two days ago, but she says"Not yet!" and proceeded to dump forty inches of snow on us. I went out and shoveled the dregs of snow that were left behind from the upstairs neighbor's efforts and then a pathway [shovel width] to my neighbor's house, up the side of the house to his back door. [Front door sealed for the winter]. he is away until tomorrow and I watch his house and bring his mail inside. Took me the better part of an hour, but I shoveled a bit, rested, shoveled some more until I got it. When I was forty, I would have done all in about twenty minutes. I am not a hermit during the winter, just can't do like I used to. Thanks for the pep-talk though. ~ Geezer.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

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Seren

Fri, 2018-03-09 23:07

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This is really different from your normal fare. I really like it. Describes most says for most people going through the motions of a day. I love the realism in this piece. There's humour but underlying it all there is something else I can't put my finger on.
And the internet where would we be without it. I'd never met any of your all. Excuse me today medications knocking me on my butt will try to give more thorough critique next time.

A really good read I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Love and higgliest bugs J xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

Geezer

Sat, 2018-03-10 07:14

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Guess you sense the depression of the long winter. It's hard for me to be inside so much. I really like being outdoors and having the face to face interaction with my friends and family. Can't wait for barbecue season, going to try and get my mom over here from the nursing home to enjoy some warm days with her. I know she misses being able to get out too. ~Gee.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

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