The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem, "Aviana," employs a narrative style to depict the life and loss of a young girl. The use of vivid imagery, such as "a ray of sunshine" and "fresh as morning dew," effectively conveys the innocence and beauty of the child. The poem also successfully uses metaphors, such as "Daddy was the king of her castle," to depict the close relationship between the child and her father.

However, there are areas that could be improved. The rhythm and rhyme scheme of the poem are inconsistent, which can disrupt the flow of the poem. For example, the lines "One sad day, she was called / to heaven for her wings" do not follow the same rhythm as the rest of the poem. To improve this, consider revising the lines to maintain a consistent rhythm throughout the poem.

The poem also switches between third-person and first-person perspectives, which can be confusing for the reader. For example, the poem starts by describing Aviana in the third person but switches to first person in the final stanza. To improve clarity, consider maintaining a consistent point of view throughout the poem.

Lastly, the poem could benefit from more show, less tell. For instance, instead of stating "I miss her all the time," the poem could describe actions or feelings that show this sense of loss. This could create a more powerful emotional impact on the reader.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Hello, Geezer,
A beautiful, heartwarming poem. The overflowing love and deep appreciation for Aviana softens the sadness just a bit. Just a bit. My sincere condolences. Thank you for sharing this.
L

Such shining love 'serving from her bowl' like this description so hard to find anything fresh on this topic but you have.

How this evokes memories that only those who have lost a little one can truly bear. For me it was our Grand daughter, our Butterfly Sophie who we lost 10 years ago, just 6 years old, taken by a brain tumour. The loss never leaves but I too wrote some words though they do not help alleviate the feelings of grief. Alex.

you have captured the bittersweet of this tale of love, beauty and loss. It returned me to my own loss. There is enchantment in your verses. I am very sorry for your loss.

In the second line of the second verse:

she served joy (to) every bowl suggestion: she served joy (in) every bowl

take or leave as you see fit.
*hugs, Cat