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Hello From Mother Nature...

You would think by my destruction
of your little domicile
That I don't care for you
my little ragged child

But it's not true, I love you
you've just gotten in my way
I'm blowing out the bad air
built up from yesterday

What you don't understand
is, I'm cleaning up the mess
the stuff that makes me dirty
clinging to my dress

You pollute my sparkling oceans
trash is eaten by my fishes
You leave garbage everywhere
served on plastic dishes

Oh woe is me, you claim
Mother Nature has gone wild!
It's not me, don't you see?
It's my dirty, ragged child

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem, "Hello From Mother Nature...", employs an anthropomorphic perspective of nature, which is a common and effective technique in environmental poetry. The speaker, Mother Nature, addresses humanity as a "ragged child," creating a sense of hierarchy and responsibility.

The poem's structure is consistent, with a mostly regular rhyme scheme and rhythm, which contributes to the overall readability and flow. However, there are a few places where the rhythm is slightly off, such as "You pollute my sparkling oceans," which could be rephrased for smoother reading.

The poem's message about environmental responsibility is clear and impactful, though the tone might be seen as overly accusatory. A more balanced perspective could make the message more palatable to readers who might be put off by the blame placed on them.

The metaphor of pollution as "the stuff that makes me dirty/clinging to my dress" is particularly effective, as it conveys the idea of pollution as a violation of nature's purity. The use of everyday language ("trash," "garbage," "plastic dishes") also makes the poem's themes more relatable to a general audience.

In terms of imagery, the poem could benefit from more specific and vivid descriptions. For instance, instead of "trash is eaten by my fishes," the poet could describe specific types of marine life affected by pollution.

Overall, the poem effectively communicates its message about environmental responsibility, though it could benefit from some adjustments to tone, rhythm, and imagery.

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I think you have only forgotten the mountains and the sky. I really like the concept of the, "dirty ragged child". Your Title is okay. The beginning speaks of Mother Nature's destructive forces. and it seems like she is trying to speak truthfully with an unreasonable child.and get their attention about their own destructive habits, which will become deadly. I can feel her pain and sorrow. I really like the personification.

*hugs, Cat & hello to the boys

*
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for your always insightful comments and critique. You are right, I have forgotten the mountains and the sky; I will think on what to say about them. ~ Geez.
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