Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Those first steps

Submitted by Edward nigma on Sat, 2024-03-02 06:22

Frivolously fumbling
their withering way
Never seeming to stay
On the same
prevalent path
painted before
their tattered
tales of time.
And yet with
fear firmly fastened
in their hearts.
They still stiffly
stammer down
that slightly
slanted slope
with their
heedful hearts
hanging on
any hidden
hints of hope.

Editing stage:

Editing - rough draft

Content level:

Not Explicit Content

Comments

Edward nigma

Sat, 2024-03-02 07:14

My inspiration

https://youtu.be/kiT2pv4I1Ec?si=EuJ3SCRI9nVQML06

Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.

author comment

Lavender

Sat, 2024-03-02 07:36

Those First Steps

Hello, Edward,
It's wonderful to see your poetry! This is fascinating. I love the title and can picture a baby wobbling, learning to walk with both hesitation and determination. Brave and hopeful! There is also the sense of our own first step toward the unknown, how we must be bold and brave, too. Filled with hope. Your alliteration is remarkable.
Thank you!
L

Edward nigma

Sat, 2024-03-02 07:54

Thank you

To me bravery means to do something even though you’re afraid of It. And when you’re naive you tend to try new things full of hope.

You don’t know anything until you try

Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.

author comment

Geezer

Sat, 2024-03-02 17:13

I like...

the vision of a heart
stammering down that slightly slanted slope,
grasping at roots and tufts of grass,
hopeful of a happy ending.

Sparse, but rich in flavor. I like the language,
the thought and the presentation. Nice to see you writing again, ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Neopoet

Those first steps