Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

the stress stricken street

Submitted by Edward nigma on Sun, 2022-04-17 19:56

Away went
my feebleminded
feet .Slowly
strolling down
that stress
stricken street.
Flooded with
other fellow
frantic freaks .
Who have fallen
far from their
success striven
streaks.

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

Ray Whitaker

Fri, 2022-04-22 18:45

Ray Whitaker's picture

this piece is strong, and succinct.

iMHO, this is how I'd put it.for readability...

Away went my feebleminded feet,
Slowly strolling down that stress, stricken street.
Flooded with other fellow frantic freaks .
Who have fallen far from their
success striven streaks.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Edward nigma

Fri, 2022-04-22 18:07

Edward nigma's picture
Volunteer badge

My inspiration was
https://youtu.be/g0HYKQRJ_eA

Hlm life without literature is a life without logic.

author comment

Ray Whitaker

Fri, 2022-04-22 18:46

Ray Whitaker's picture

inspiration comes when it will, and good for you that you wrote about it!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.