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Star Gazing

Far above the city lights
The campfire fades away,
Midnight lends its darkness
The stars come out to play.

Look into the night time skies
Constellations span the scene,
There is Orion and the dippers
In early morning, so serene.

The constellations, not all seen
What else might catch our eye?
The grace of a passing comet
Falling stars might just pass by.

It might be the Sisters, Gemini
Appearing together two by two,
In a sky a million light years past
The Milky Way comes into view.

Gaze into the vast beyond and see
This wondrous canvas full of light,
Heavenly bodies dance in silence
Around our precious world tonight.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
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Not Explicit Content
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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem, "Star Gazing," effectively uses imagery to depict the beauty and vastness of the night sky. However, there are some areas where the poem could be improved.

Firstly, the rhythm of the poem seems inconsistent. While some lines have a clear and consistent meter, others do not. For example, the line "The constellations not all to see" disrupts the rhythm established in the previous stanzas. Revising this line to fit the established meter could improve the overall flow of the poem.

Secondly, the poem could benefit from more varied language. The word "see" is used three times, and while repetition can be a powerful tool in poetry, in this case it seems unintentional and slightly redundant. Consider using synonyms or rephrasing these lines to add more variety to the language.

Lastly, the poem could delve deeper into the emotional or philosophical implications of the scene it describes. While the descriptions of the night sky are vivid and beautiful, the poem could be more impactful if it also explored what these sights mean to the observer. This could be achieved by adding more lines or stanzas that reflect on the feelings or thoughts inspired by the night sky.

In conclusion, while the poem effectively uses imagery to depict a beautiful scene, it could be improved by refining the rhythm, varying the language, and delving deeper into the emotional or philosophical implications of the scene.

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Hello, Will,
I love and feel the reverence this holds so dearly. Beautiful closing line.
Thank you!

Hello Lavender.

So glad you enjoyed the poem. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. I love to star gaze at the nigh time skies when camping. The world comes alive!

Thanks again. Will

author comment

Before AI comes along to dump on you, I must tell you how much I love the line:

"Midnight lends its darkness"

the poem is lovely and educates some, those who know nothing about Astronomy. the lines roll right off the tongue without hang ups. smooth sailing! Good Luck on the contest!

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Howdy Cat.

I appreciate you comments and observations. When I am bummed out about all the B.S. in the world, the skies provide solace, and on some occasions leaves me with hope. However, the skies always leave me with a smile and a promise for tomorrow.

All my very best, Will

author comment

describing a nice night looking at the stars with a good telescope!
I think that the meter is just a little wobbly in your 8th and 9th lines.
A couple of quick fix?

In early morning, so serene

The constellations, not all seen

Use a capital [S] instead of lower-case, making them equal to and a foursome with Gemini
not the sisters Gemini. All-in-all, a great poem about "Star Gazing". ~ Geez.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Hi Geez.

Let me see what I can come up with. Thanks for the suggestions! - Will

author comment
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