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Majesties and Massacre
From the confluence of two small creeks
The Bear River starts its mighty flow,
Through majestic mountains close to heaven
Towards parched plains waiting far below.
The longest river in our great America
To never reach towards coastal seas,
This landlocked serpent ebbs and flows
With gifts and bounties sure to please.
Three states will claim its clear blue waters
To feed livestock and awaken thirsty plains,
Nearly five hundred miles of pristine beauty
Winding until in Bear Lake it finally drains.
Along these peaceful flowing waters
History must record a shameful truth,
The sad massacre of Shoshoni families
Braves and wives, and all their youth.
Tragedy on the banks of the Bear River
Was late January eighteen sixty three,
Soldiers killed three hundred natives
A stone monument now there to see.
Perhaps if we look upon these waters
Just below the surface we might see,
A reflection of ourselves and wonder
What kinder souls that we might be.
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If this poem has piqued your interest in the Bear River Massacre, I encourage to look into this tragic event in our history.
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neopoet
Fri, 2024-07-12 16:10
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Majesties and Massacre" has a clear structure and a consistent rhyme scheme, which aids in its readability. The use of vivid imagery and descriptive language effectively conveys the beauty of the Bear River and its surroundings. The transition from the serene depiction of the river to the tragic historical event is abrupt, which may be intentional to highlight the contrast. However, it could be beneficial to introduce some foreshadowing elements earlier in the poem to prepare the reader for the shift in tone.
The poem also presents an opportunity to delve deeper into the emotional impact of the event. While the last two stanzas touch on the tragedy and its implications, further exploration of the emotional response to this event could add depth to the poem. This could be achieved through the use of more evocative language or by exploring the perspective of those directly affected by the event.
The final stanza introduces a reflective element, encouraging the reader to consider their own actions and potential for kindness. This is a powerful message, but it could be strengthened by making a more explicit connection to the historical event described. This would help to clarify the intended takeaway for the reader.
Overall, the poem effectively uses descriptive language and structure to convey a narrative, but could benefit from additional emotional depth and clearer connections between the historical event and the poem's concluding message.
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Lavender
Sat, 2024-07-13 11:30
Majesties and Massacre
Hello, William,
Hard to read and take this in. Such an unbelievable tragedy. A profound poem and homage. Yes, it is a reflection of ourselves and our country's history. Your superb title describes the irony so very well. Thank you for this.
L
William Lynn
Sat, 2024-07-13 19:05
Hello Lavender.
Hello Lavender.
When we look into our history there is much to be proud of. Unfortunately, if we look with open eyes, there is also much that is truly shameful.
I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
Hope all is well. - Will
author commentCandlewitch
Sat, 2024-07-13 11:44
Dear Will,
It was shameful and inhumane what was done. thank you for writing about it in poetry form, reveling the facts of an unjust government. absolutely shameful! I do not read very many history stories, because much of what I see and feel, sickens me and makes me feel ashamed.
*hugs, Cat
*
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William Lynn
Sat, 2024-07-13 19:03
Hi Cat.
Hi Cat.
Mighty good to hear from you. I was hoping things were o.k. after not seeing you post any poems or responding to other's poems. Sure hope all is well.
You are correct, when we look back at our history (and we don't have to look very far) there are way too many examples of how we screwed up and to few to really be proud of.
Thanks for reading and for your comments, they are always much appreciated. - Will
author commentCandlewitch
Sun, 2024-07-14 12:52
Dear Will,
we can only hope we learn from our mistakes and do better. I have been unwell, but I am starting to feel better. Thank you for asking after me, it s appreciated greatly.
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.