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Mosquitos Suck!

Of all the creatures great and small
The one that I detest the very most,
The blood thirsty, damned mosquito,
I have no desire to be its dinner host.

The mosquito plays no favorites
It's most willing to drill and bite,
Everyone it darn well chooses,
There's no chance to wage a fight.

But fight I will with all I have
Be it sprays or creams or such,
I'll wear light colored clothing
But it doesn't help that much.

The pond down by the mill creek
Cricket sing their evening song,
A place where people love to fish
Until the mosquitoes come along.

A perfect campsite near the placid lake
Quiet ripples lace the still blue waters,
These times with family almost perfect
Until mosquitoes invade like squatters.

The fans on many Friday evenings
Sit in bleachers and the stands,
To watch their favorite teams at play
Until the mosquito squadron lands.

This critter has little earthly value
Not much to offer anyone,
It finds an unsuspecting target
Then dives and begins its evil fun.

These rotten little creatures lurk,
Only God knows why he made 'em,
I suppose that God already knows
How very much I truly hate 'em.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I try not to hate, but I fail when mosquitoes are involved.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.


The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem effectively uses a consistent rhyme scheme (ABAB) throughout, which helps to maintain a steady rhythm and flow. The use of imagery, such as "Quiet ripples lace the still blue waters" and "Until the mosquito squadron lands," is vivid and helps to create a clear picture in the reader's mind.

However, the poem could benefit from a more varied vocabulary. For instance, the word "mosquito" is repeated often, which can make the poem feel repetitive. Consider using synonyms or descriptive phrases to refer to the mosquito, which could add more depth and interest to the poem.

The poem also seems to rely heavily on the reader's shared experience or dislike of mosquitoes. While this can be effective, it may limit the poem's appeal to readers who do not share this sentiment. Consider exploring more universal themes or emotions that could make the poem more relatable to a wider audience.

The final stanza introduces the idea of God's role in creating mosquitoes. This is a significant concept that could be explored more fully. If the intent is to question or criticize the purpose or existence of mosquitoes, this could be a powerful theme to develop throughout the poem.

Finally, the poem's tone is consistent, maintaining a light, humorous feel throughout. However, the use of phrases like "damned mosquito" and "evil fun" seem to contradict this tone. Consider whether these phrases are necessary, or if they could be replaced with language that better matches the overall tone of the poem.

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Extraordinary! I enjoyed it. Not much to critique. Simple structure. Wonderful imagery and word use as well as a straight forward rhyme scheme. Way to go

Hello Amo.
Thank you for reading and commenting, I appreciate it. Glad you enjoyed the poem.
All my best, Will

author comment

I very much liked your humorous pesty bug poem. You must have a fondness for Ogden Nash as the very funny and relatable storyline twists in your piece are similar to some of the animal antics he would have written about. I especially like your final stanza with its “why did God have to make it?” Punch ending. Great job. Thank you for this wonderful post.

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment, I appreciate it.
Yes, I do like the off beat humor of Ogden Nash!

All my best, Will

author comment

yes those dang things are the bane of summer

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