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Nectarous Agony

Submitted by Lepadah on Mon, 2012-03-05 13:48

Sitting here finger snapping to a changeless bang
a sudden trip remembering how sweet it is to love you
straight down to the mole on your right ankle
the dilettante symbol on left forearm
the crazy silkiness of palms possessive feel
is the shit that keeps me running to you
i'm trying to forget the smell of kush
and how you manage a absolute diction
agile partnering for lexicant
producer of punctuated and accentuate a better use of verbs "action speaks louder than words"
breaking down feelings; our tit for tat
define khalid Muhammad
bed in debate with me Machiavelli
and let me gift one
but you were already too hip
to Orgy in Rhythm E.P. Harlem River Drive
a charmed cortex
I could not resist . . . so please insist
on being yours forever . . .

© 2012 Lepadah

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Eduardo Cruz

Mon, 2012-03-05 16:56

Eduardo Cruz's picture

this is some love story, of debatible questions. I am from Spanish Harlem, and i recognize your speech. what is interesting to me is that this is a stimalated love by two. I just love this write. your ecliptic way of writing facinates me.

Eddie
...

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

Lepadah

Tue, 2012-03-06 10:53

Lepadah's picture

Hello Eddie,

I appreciate your comment/read of this poem. From Spanish Harlem cool. I love Harlem can't keep away from the lower East Side. I will be checking you out.

Peace 1 Lepadah

Lepadah

author comment

Geezer

Mon, 2012-03-05 20:12

Geezer's picture
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I was a little bit put off by the long lines at first, but after reading it through a couple of times, I couldn't see any way to shorten them and still keep the meaning. Very interesting. ~ Geezer

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Lepadah

Tue, 2012-03-06 11:04

Lepadah's picture

yes I agree a tad bit lengthy but when reading aloud the flow is quite nice. I thank you for an honest critique of the poem.

Peace 1 Lepadah

Lepadah

author comment
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