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Mirror Mirror

Mirror mirror on the wall,
Tell me who will win the war.
Is it me or is it she?
Whose the dirtiest pretty of them all?

Does he taste me on her lips?
A flavor he soon won't forget.
Does he miss the thrust of my hips?
His little rhythmic silhouette.

I've heard his hopes and dreams,
The nightmares that make him scream.
It wasn't her he was calling,
To stop his world from falling.

Tell me magic mirror!
What do you see?
I am not the better woman here
She best not mess with me!

Broken glass around my feet
Shattered like the shards of my heart
You don't have to be married
For until death do us part...

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Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Mirror Mirror" demonstrates a strong use of imagery and metaphor to convey complex emotions and situations. The use of the mirror as a symbol of self-reflection and truth-seeking is effective and carries throughout the poem. The repeated questioning of the mirror adds a sense of desperation and urgency to the poem, enhancing the emotional impact.

However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent rhythm and rhyme scheme. The second stanza, for instance, has a clear ABAB rhyme scheme, but this is not maintained in the rest of the poem. Consistency in rhythm and rhyme can enhance the musicality of the poem and make it more engaging to read.

The poem also seems to shift in tone in the last two stanzas, moving from a confrontational tone to a more sorrowful one. While this shift is not necessarily problematic, it might be more effective if it were more gradual or if there were some indication earlier in the poem that this shift was coming.

Lastly, the poem could benefit from more specific imagery. While the images of the mirror, the shattered glass, and the taste on the lips are effective, they could be further developed or complemented with more specific images to create a more vivid picture in the reader's mind. For example, the poem could delve deeper into the specific memories or experiences that are causing the speaker's pain and jealousy.

Overall, the poem has a strong emotional core and uses metaphor and imagery effectively, but could be improved with more consistent rhythm and rhyme, a more gradual shift in tone, and more specific imagery.

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I like your imaginary creative style with the Mirror theme-based narrative storytelling poetry. It is very clever and intriguing writing descriptive from a 1st person perspective.

-Hon

Glad you enjoyed. Thank you for your comment and support.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

Such an interesting rhyme structure that totally works! A collective pattern of abca, abab, aabb. Noticed it right away, so wonderful. There is an intensity in the unique mirror on the wall theme - perhaps bitterness caused by heartbreak. Really felt this one.
Thank you,
L

There is something about magic mirrors and heartbreak/jealousy. Thank you for noticing the rhyme scheme. I tend to rhyme by accident because if I try...it doesn't come out quite right. Thank you for your comment as always.

~RoseBlack~

author comment
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