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LAMARIN

Lamarin, you have eaten the eye of the earth
A betrayal shall perish in the soil
You have eaten the bait
And whoever does what no man had done before shall see unusual thing.

Ha- ha, he shouldn’t be you!
Lamarin, you have broken the tie
You know Esu does not eat black kernel- oil,
Does dog eat kolanut
Have you forgotten that one must not use bitter- kola sticks to make fire?
Or use its leaves to preserve pap,
That Orisa- oke will get angry with the person.

You have given me a bitter-sweet memory...
He who killed vulture clocked not a year
He who killed hornbill clocked not a month
Lamarin, you’ve struck the honey-nest
You have called Esu an ugly man
If your Sango is drying up Araba and Iroko
It not my big tree;
Lamarin, you have deepened your fingers into my mouth
And I must bite you.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I make use of some local words 'Lamarin' is person name. 'Orisa-oke' is god. 'Esu' is god. 'Sango' is god. 'Araba' and 'Iroko' are common big tree in Nigeria forest. Lastly, the poem moves around Yoruba proverb. The poem reflects the aggressions of the poet toward a betrayal called LAMARIN.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

I read it, enjoyed the references to vegetation that was not native to me.

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Raywhitakerblog.wordpress.com
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this piece, I see it as raw and interesting. I too, enjoyed the references to native fruits and vegetation and the admonishments against using them for certain things. So very interesting to see and hear about customs and proverbs. Nice work! ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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Thanks for the comment.

I'm trying to relay my customs and proverbs to my readers around the the world.

"Words are currency of ideas and have the power to change world. Ride your pen on the rough road."

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