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The Knave of Hearts...

Time plods on behind the scenes
barely noticed until milestones
are dropped in the dust of our dreams
Halt! Who goes there?

Shadows of what was, does it matter?
Look over your shoulder
see him grinning, a Mad-Hatter
He's right behind you

Alice has got nothing on me
I am the Knave of Hearts
I've loved the Queen
and I've stolen her tarts

Blameless, she suspects nothing
Still, and more still...
as dreams were and are now
My hurt intact, she uses me to kill

My rage at her, made from love
swings my blade and bloodies the scene
Waking, emerging, cursing the day
I wonder, what does it mean?

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
A dream in which I played The Knave of Hearts as in Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland.
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

"Knave of hearts or The mad hatter"-
makes no difference, doesn't. ",,,,,,,,,,,,,"

Not sure I agree with "time plods",,,,,,, jeeeeyzuss where's it gone?

I like this one very muchly, it is abstract and appeals to my "wonder if this guy is a serial killer" side!

Obi.

the criticism about time plodding under consideration. I am looking for a word that conveys both the sense that time never seems to hurry, but all of a sudden it is gone! Hmmmmmm, Killer ? I guess you could say that. I identify with the Tim Burton character as he is blind in the left eye and wears a heart-shaped patch over it. ~ Geez.

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author comment

I'm back. It's difficult but I'm here. Omg I love this one it feels abstract in the best kind of way. I am only here to say hello today. And leave some glowing remarks about your brilliant poem. But be warned I've not changed. Like Jess taught me I can't help others if I don't teach them, he was a rascal lol. Be gentle if you get round to reading my poem I'm still finding my words. Hasn't changed what I know & what I like and what's rubbish poetry.

This is not that. It's fabulous in the very best of ways.

Love and higgliest bugs Sis x

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

that my latest sojourn into the realm of abstract, is appreciated. Thank you for your glowing comments on this piece. I am much like you and a few others here, that rest comfortably in our little niches and rarely ventures to any of the many avenues of poetry. However, sometimes I get restless and try to look "over the hill" to see if the grass is truly green on the other side!
[Note, I said green, not greener], because my first love is always going to be straight forward story-telling. So glad to see you here and writing! Please do more! You have not lost anything and I'm sure that you will prove it. ~ Bro.[LAHBs]

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author comment

You have avoided the trap which most abstract poetry falls into...the trap of being incomprehensible

Whilst being a bit abstract is good, because people see what they want to see in the abstract, I also want to convey the real thoughts behind the lines. If people see what I have written, I'm good with that. I think that if a certain person was to read this piece, they would know exactly what I am saying; but if there are those that will make their own story from it, then that is okay too.~ Geez.
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author comment
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