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Holding Cell

Dreams shattered, scattered
Shards of broken glass
Stained in the blood
From ghosts of lifetimes past

This place is not a home
But a holding cell
Invisible bars upon the window sills
The warden's special hell

Cut the noose from around my neck
Break the chains that bind
Let the darkness engulf me
Nothing left to find

Take the life out from me
Steal my final breath
Your name fresh on my lips
The sweet relief of death

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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem, "Holding Cell," effectively employs vivid imagery and metaphors to convey a sense of despair and entrapment. The use of strong, emotive language helps to create a dark and poignant atmosphere.

The first stanza sets the tone of the poem with the use of powerful imagery such as "shattered," "scattered," and "stained in the blood." These phrases evoke a sense of loss and destruction, which is further emphasized by the reference to "ghosts of lifetimes past."

The second stanza introduces the metaphor of a "holding cell" to represent the speaker's emotional state. This metaphor is further developed with the addition of "invisible bars" and "the warden's special hell," which enhance the sense of confinement and despair.

In the third and fourth stanzas, the speaker expresses a desire for release from their emotional pain. The phrases "cut the noose," "break the chains," and "let the darkness engulf me" all suggest a longing for escape, even if that means embracing death.

The poem could benefit from a more varied rhythm or meter to enhance its musicality. The current structure is somewhat repetitive, which may detract from the overall impact of the poem.

Additionally, the poem might explore the source of the speaker's despair in greater depth. While the current version effectively conveys the speaker's emotional state, providing more context or backstory could add another layer of meaning to the poem.

Finally, the poem could also consider using more subtle or indirect language to convey its themes. While the current language is powerful and emotive, it is also quite direct and explicit, which may limit the poem's ability to engage readers on a deeper, more interpretive level.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

that bind you there. I was once in that place,
it's not a fun place to be. Just remember that there is always hope.
Never give up, as one of my favorite people says.
This poem feels simple and direct, a no-frills attitude that begs to heard
I love it! [Not your situation] This is one of your best! ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

The feelings had to go somewhere. I keep thinking something has to change and soon! As always thank you for the read and comments.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

I've been in a holding cell this side

There was no way to tell time.
No clocks.
We used the sounds of birds,
and the Muslims call to prayer
to figure out what time of the morning it was.

The psychology of deliberate torture
is hard to understand
'till you feel it.

For me,when you describe how that hell
isn't a home
is powerful.
The truest line for me.

I loved this poem
Thank you for sharing

Koki

Thank you for the read and comment. I am sorry you have experienced such feelings. It really isn't a good place to be. I am glad the poem resonated with you and you liked it.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

Really good poem, with a lot of imagery and emotion. I love the way you put the reader right at the centre with you to feel your sense of confinement. Well done, great job. Ruby :) xx

Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.

For your read and comments. Usually after I write a poem, I get a sense of relief and this time I still feel numb. Glad you liked it.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

It will ease over time. :) xx

Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.

Your poem takes me back, transporting me to quite a few years ago and a horrible situation, trapped! He was a biker of the worst order of the "Outlaws"(Minnesota Chapter) a splinter group of the "Hell's Angels". I got in too deep...way over my head. I was 19 and he was 35. I found out too late, you do not leave them, they drop you! it is the only way out!

If I were to quote back to you the lines that resonated with me, I would have to repeat the whole poem back to you! I guess the lines about death really rang true for me. Because I really did not expect to get out alive. A broken jaw, three ribs, a foot were the extent of it on the physical side. But the psychological torture was brutal. He held a matchbox of pills he said was LSD (Acid) and he let me think he would make me take the contents of the box. It hung over my head all day. I was locked in a back storage room with my thoughts, fears and broken bones; while he decided my fate.

I thank you for this poignant piece, because I needed to be reminded of how good I have it now. It is good to be reminded of just who we were to have closure on bad events. this write is brilliant in my eyes.

*love, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I am so sorry you had to go through all of that! I am glad that the poem spoke to you though. It's an awful feeling! I really feel like death is the only way out.

~RoseBlack~

author comment

sooner or later, they will get careless and you will be able to slip away... hang on until your fingers bleed...

*hugs & love, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Is approaching with some new things that have happened. Fingers crossed and bleeding

~RoseBlack~

author comment
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