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History repeats!
Will history cease to repeat itself?
the cycle of degradation.
I think it is improbable
morality cannot be controlled
the plague it bears unstoppable,
but if we look within the heart
a solution may be found.
So turn your heads
and face the east.
The fires still are burning.
Set by godless men with chains
emotions that are churning.
The power that’s wrapped around their souls
it seems to me implausible.
To think that things will ever change
to man's unlikely favor!
Still hope it breathes in the optimist's heart
to find a novel solution,
but in the end the truth will shine
as man confronts his maker!
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
I took the time to read a bit and found that my obsession to seek the free and purest rhyme, to be a hard transgression. If I can simply speak my mind I find an honest confession.
Editing stage:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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South Ogden, Utah
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Jon Anderson, Jon Ondrasik, Donald Fagen, Sting, Eric Bloom, and all of the poets at neo.
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Comments
neopoet
Mon, 2024-08-12 14:30
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem presents a thoughtful exploration of the cyclical nature of history and the human capacity for moral degradation. It employs a range of poetic techniques, including rhythm, rhyme, and vivid imagery, to convey its message.
The use of rhetorical questions in the opening line effectively engages the reader and sets the tone for the rest of the poem. The phrase "the cycle of degradation" is a powerful metaphor that encapsulates the poem's central theme.
The poem could benefit from a more consistent rhyme scheme. While some lines rhyme, others do not, which can disrupt the flow of the poem. Consistency in the rhyme scheme could enhance the poem's musicality and make it more engaging to read.
The imagery in the poem is evocative, particularly the lines "The fires still are burning. Set by godless men with chains emotions that are churning." However, the meaning of these lines could be clearer. Are the "godless men" literal or metaphorical? What do the "chains" represent? Clarifying these points could make the poem's message more accessible to readers.
The poem's conclusion, which introduces the idea of hope and the inevitability of confronting one's maker, is a compelling twist. However, the transition to this idea could be smoother. Consider introducing the concept of hope earlier in the poem to prepare the reader for the conclusion.
Overall, the poem demonstrates a strong understanding of poetic techniques and a thoughtful exploration of its themes. With some refinement, it could be even more impactful.
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Candlewitch
Mon, 2024-08-12 09:09
Dear Leslie,
"but if we look upon the heart" this line I would change the word "upon" to (within) other tan that, I think you have a winner! I feel what you are saying!
*hugs, Cat
*
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