The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Carousel!" uses the metaphor of a carnival and carousel to express the speaker's mental state, a technique that is effective in conveying the speaker's feelings of being out of control and trapped. However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent use of this metaphor throughout.

For instance, in the second half of the poem, the speaker introduces new metaphors ("Reaching for redemption", "wander aimlessly", "a single teardrop in my eye") that are not directly related to the carnival theme. This shift can be disorienting for readers, who may find it difficult to connect these new images to the central metaphor of the carousel.

To strengthen the poem's coherence, consider extending the carnival metaphor throughout the entire poem. For example, the "redemption" the speaker cannot buy could be likened to a ticket or prize at the carnival that is always out of reach. Similarly, the speaker's sense of aimless wandering could be described as getting lost in the carnival's maze or crowd.

The poem also uses a consistent rhyme scheme (ABAB), which helps to create a rhythm and flow. However, the rhythm is disrupted in the lines "And if I could escape / There's nowhere left to fly", where the second line has one syllable more than the first. To maintain the rhythm, consider revising these lines to match the syllable count of the other lines.

Lastly, the poem's use of language is generally clear and straightforward, which makes it accessible to a wide range of readers. However, the phrase "My eyes are never dampened / for tears, I cannot cry" could be clarified. It's not clear whether the speaker is physically unable to cry, or if they are emotionally numb and unable to feel sadness. Clarifying this point could help readers better understand the speaker's emotional state.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Hello, Leslie,
A very defining poem. Much to learn, understand, and feel from this well-written piece.
Thank you,
L
(I believe there is a typo - my eyes are never "dampened."

in the middle of this poem you claimed (My eyes are never dampened
for tears, I cannot cry )

then in the ending you state:(I find myself just wanting more
a single teardrop in my eye!)

maybe that single tear is the beginning of the flood gates opening? I hope so, for it is a release for all those pent up feelings that grip us in a choke-hold. Good poem which is very relatable!

*hugs, Cat