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Did I

I sat along this river bank, did I,
noticed the way the water weaves
from north to south so casually
as if it had nowhere to be.

I walked these wooded paths, did I,
and pondered on the speckled leaves
that fell to earth so gracefully
as if in homage to the tree.

I listened to the dove, did I,
the wren, the jay, the cheeky crow
who sounded delightful and carefree
as if they could sing endlessly.

I watched the setting sun, did I,
though where it went, I do not know.
It bade farewell so earnestly
as if in whispers just to me.

The hours within a life grow faint,
the moments spark, then fade and fly.
As I recall how my days were spent,
they were mostly wondrous, by and by.

Did I listen to the rushing river bend,
then speak with the endless blissful sky?
I've known these woods as a boon and friend -
I've had a good life, did I.
I've had a good life, did I.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

didn't use the repeated "DID I"s as a crutch for easier rhyme (I don't think you did).This looks and reads like something I'd have written on a good day

The "Did I" repetition was definitely intentional, even at the end when it is used in rhyme. I was hoping to give the poem a contemplative, almost melodious feeling. I will give that fifth stanza a second look - that is where I'd go for another rhyme, I think.
Thank you for reading!
L

author comment

After your keen observation, I've made a revision.
Thanks for your help!
L

author comment

This has the feeling of raw love to nature. I like the simplicity and yet well expressed appreciation to everyday experiments.
A piece I sure would have loved to write.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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I have been very fortunate to experience such simple but extraordinary and peaceful moments.
I always appreciate your comments!
Thank you, my friend!
L

author comment

A feeling of Reggae! I like that! I was hoping for some sort of melody within the poem to help it flow along, like nature. I'm glad you enjoyed this.
Thank you,
L

author comment
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