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Once Red Barn

Its meat falls off more each year
leaving open spaces between its bones
where snow gathers
and weeds climb.

It is gray, now,
and hides in the autumn rain,
perhaps like an old elephant,
large and saggy,
its trunk forever searching
for something lost in the earth.

From the country road,
it seems graceful
resting against the surrounding
sullen fields.

But something much like sleep
holds it there -
fettered in time
while all those who once adored
its bright red paint
made their way down the country road,
forgetting to look back,
leaving the snow and the weeds
to shelter its elephant bones.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

This has really nice use of physical imagery, word choices and storytelling, enjoyed the personification of a physical structure as an animal, and its decay over time, your poetry skills are always evident, thanks for the share.

Thank you so much for reading, and many thanks for your generous comments! I'm especially glad you enjoyed the personification.
Best regards to you!
L

author comment

I have seen them. The farm families that were the mainstay of rural communities,
have moved to the city. They have left behind, the weathered, grey elephants;
sometimes, pregnant with the green and red-rusted machines. Yes, times were different,
and they will be again. Nicely done, ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Yes, the green and red-rusted tractors and machines. Those are left behind, too! There's something very melancholy about these left behind pieces of yesterday. They seem to come to life whenever I drive by, making me reflect on past times.
Thank you for reading!
L

author comment

as our economy settles down, and people find that they are dissatisfied with cities, they will turn back to small farming.
I know that there seems to be a return to subsistence living. maybe a lot of these immigrants will pick up the farms and make a go of them. I enjoyed your take on this one. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I like your prediction, and hope that it comes true! There are still some rural areas to be found, and I love the character and the scenery these old barns give us.
Thank you for reading again!
L

author comment
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