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Unspoken

I found a letter on the ground,
most precious note I ever found.

And when I read its lovely theme,
no other lovely thought could seem

to touch the world as this fine note
which finely penned what someone wrote

to his lost love, his one and only
soulmate, alone, lost and lonely.

Two lovers, separate and denied
a lovers' love, husband and bride

who claimed to pledge til death do part,
yet, no claim prospered, no pledge of heart

came to be, on way to church and steeple
in front of church and church bound people

she lost her life, a tragic moment,
a lifeless, tragic, denied bestowment.

And when the crowds had disappeared
as crowds do when stunned crowds are cleared,

there lay this letter from one, now broken -
his letter, his heart, his vows unspoken.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content

Comments

How beautiful... this was a lovely read! Well done!

Thank you for your very kind words!
L

author comment

it rolls off the tongue easily and the story is romantic, yet tragic. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I recall a true story similar to this in the past - a bride (or perhaps it was the groom?) tragically dying on her way to her own wedding. Not sure why it came to mind, but it surfaced in a poem.
Thank you for reading!
L

author comment

A poignant writing that captures the a lost love and the enduring power of the unspoken vows.
As a suggestion, I thought you might like to capitalize the beginning of each line .
I also find the repition of the word lovely a bit unnecessary. May be replacing one with heartfelt?
Just suggestion as you know that you are absolutely free to take or leave.
I have already enjoyed it

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

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I tried to use a word or two from the first line in each couplet also in the second line. It may be a bit too much, though. I will think over your wonderful suggestions!
Thank you so much!
Lx

author comment

Very sad and very well written. Lovely in it's misery. I enjoyed this as usual!

The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!

Not certain where this one came from, but it surfaced, just the same.
Thank you for reading and commenting!
L

author comment

Excellent poem, really reflecting lost love, tragic circumstances that too often exist
Loved your poem

Excellent poem, really reflecting lost love, tragic circumstances that too often exist
Loved your poem

It seems I've read of this scenario several times - possibly that is where the idea came from. It sort of spread itself out in the shape of this poem.
Thank you for reading! I appreciate your time!
L

author comment

Bouncy bouncy, loved it. Sad the words unspoken never heard (or read). The tragic accident. You really set the mind to work lol.
I enjoyed reading this beauty.

Mark
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I believe this came together from recalling a similar sad scenario I read about in the past.
Thank you so much for reading!
L

author comment

This was really good, it reminded me of one of those songs that have a wonderful joyous tune but really sad lyrics. A testament to you talents in writing about the contradictions of life and death. Well done, Ruby :) xx

Give and grow - let's raise our verses together. I'm happy to comment on your work and appreciate a comment on mine.

Not certain where this one came from - I seemed to recall the heartbreaking scenario and it took shape. Thank you for reading and commenting. So good to see you again!
L

author comment
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