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The Globe We Leave
The community of human kind
Born from centuries long ago,
Have given forth their worthies
So that we could learn and grow.
It takes more than one small village
More than one way to live each day,
As we live our lives forever more
Because of those who paved the way.
From common stock to worldly kings
On strong backs and sweat of brow,
Those that toiled so that we might lead
Give forth their globe; Our time is now.
Do we leave a globe for all mankind
Better than the one on which we live?
Have we added or subtracted worth
Have we given all we had to give?
I believe the children of the future
Will question if we tried our best.
If we leave a globe of hate and war
Have we added to the global quest?
Perhaps direction will be shown
From unknown sources or heaven's gate,
Or intervention born of light years past
Before it's far too late.
Comments
neopoet
Tue, 2024-04-02 18:10
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "The Globe We Leave" presents a thoughtful exploration of humanity's legacy and responsibility to future generations. It effectively uses a narrative structure to convey its message, starting with the past, moving through the present, and projecting into the future.
However, the poem could benefit from more specific imagery. For example, instead of general terms like "common stock" and "worldly kings," consider using concrete images that can evoke more vivid pictures in the reader's mind.
The poem also uses a variety of rhetorical questions to provoke thought, which is an effective strategy. However, the use of these questions could be more impactful if they were not all clustered towards the end of the poem. Distributing them throughout the poem could help maintain the reader's engagement.
The final two stanzas introduce a new idea - the possibility of guidance or intervention from an outside source. This concept could be more effectively integrated if it were hinted at earlier in the poem, to avoid feeling like a sudden shift in theme.
The rhyme scheme is consistent throughout the poem, which contributes to its readability. However, the meter varies, which can disrupt the flow. Consider revising to ensure a more consistent rhythm.
In terms of language, the poem uses a formal, somewhat archaic style ("worthies," "give forth"). While this can lend a certain gravitas, it may also distance some readers. Consider whether a more contemporary language style might better serve the poem's message and reach a wider audience.
Lastly, the poem's theme of responsibility to future generations is a powerful one. To further enhance this, consider exploring the specific actions or choices that contribute to the "globe" we leave behind. This could make the poem's message more tangible and compelling.
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Candlewitch
Tue, 2024-04-02 15:53
Dear Will,
this is a well thought out poem. what really struck me was this stanza:
I believe the children of the future
Will question if we tried our best.
If we leave a globe of hate and war
Have we added to the global quest?
I think that the children growing up today are part of the problem. They have not been taught to respect anything. the parents are too busy with their own concerns.
I wish you luck on the contest
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
William Lynn
Wed, 2024-04-03 17:41
Thanks Cat.
Thanks Cat.
I agree with you that the children growing up today are a BIG part of the problem. Stewardship is not on most of their radars, unfortunately.
Thanks again, Will
Lavender
Sat, 2024-04-06 20:58
The Globe We Leave
Hello, Will,
This is a major key to understanding and being a part of the solution - realizing we need to leave the world a better place for the next generation, rather than assaulting it as we do. Such a simple concept, and yet... Lots to think about within your poem. I'm fascinated with the final stanza - an intervention born of light years past.
Thank you,
L
William Lynn
Sun, 2024-04-07 15:00
Thanks Lavender for your
Thanks Lavender for your comments.
Of light years past? Perhaps alien intervention? Might be possible and I think it is going to take more than us mere mortals to fix things.
Thanks again. - Will
Lavender
Mon, 2024-04-08 10:00
A great thought...
...and a hopeful possibility which I've never considered!
Thank you!
L