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Last year I visited a hallowed place
I had been there twice before,
This place that reflects and honors;
A memorial no one should ignore.

Our nation's mall is the location
In the shadows of heroes past,
Tons of granite whisper quietly,
Our heroes names forever last.

Fifty eight thousand names are there
Etched for all the world to touch and see,
The names and dates of when they fell,
An epitaph of love, for all eternity.

In silent reverence and in memory
I stroll the four hundred ninety feet,
Tears flow like rain for brothers lost,
My gratitude can never be complete.

I question about war's wisdom
No winners are ever really seen,
Yet I will never question courage
As I lament what might have been.

If you have the chance to visit
This granite wall of midnight black,
Place your hand upon a name or two
And the wall will touch you back.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem, "The Wall," effectively uses vivid imagery and emotive language to convey a sense of reverence and sorrow. However, there are areas where the poem could be improved to enhance its overall impact.

1. Consistency in Rhyme Scheme: The poem seems to follow an ABAB rhyme scheme, but there are instances where this pattern is not maintained. For example, the fourth stanza breaks this pattern. Consistency in rhyme scheme can help maintain rhythm and flow.

2. Use of Clichés: Phrases like "tears flow like rain" are clichéd and may not have the desired impact on readers. Consider using more original metaphors or similes to convey emotion.

3. Show, Don't Tell: The poem tells the reader about the emotions experienced, such as in the line "My gratitude can never be complete." Instead, consider showing these emotions through actions or sensory details.

4. Word Choice: The poem uses words like "tons" and "stroll" which may not fit the solemn and reverent tone of the poem. Consider using words that better match the mood and theme of the poem.

5. Punctuation: The poem could benefit from more consistent punctuation. For example, the semicolon in the third stanza seems out of place and could be replaced with a comma or period for better readability.

6. Poetic Devices: The poem could benefit from the use of more poetic devices like alliteration, assonance, or personification to add depth and richness to the language.

7. Theme Development: The poem introduces the theme of questioning war's wisdom in the fifth stanza. This theme could be introduced earlier and developed more throughout the poem to add complexity and depth.

Overall, the poem effectively conveys a sense of reverence for the fallen heroes. By addressing these areas, the poem could be further improved.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to

I like the title of your poem. the flow is fluid from line to line. I read it out loud to get a better feel of it. your language usage is good, too. it brings the message alive and makes it relatable my favorite lines are:.

Fifty eight thousand names are there
Etched for all the world to touch and see,
The names and dates of when they fell,
An epitaph of love; for all eternity.

thank you for sharing this piece with us.
*Hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Hi Cat.

I always appreciate your reading and taking the time to comment.

I have been under the weather with pneumonia, which is slowly improving, but I have fallen behind on commenting on other poems, yours included. I hope to be feeling like contributing by the end of the week, both by getting back to writing and staying on top of commenting on other's works.

Thanks again! - Will

author comment

Pneumonia is something not to trifle with. Have they got you on an antibiotic? Juices are good, too. I look forward to reading your poems and comments! feel better soon!

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Yes, I am on antibiotics and steroids and drinking enough liquids to sink a ship. Thanks for advice! - Will

author comment

please keep us posted as to your improvement? get lots of rest, too LOL I sound like a mother hen.

*hugs, Cat

When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

Hello, Will,
Have not seen this myself - yet. But I did have the sense of touching it as you described so well in your writing. I hope to see it someday to experience and understand the sensation even better. Beautiful poem, especially the final line.
Thank you,

Hi Lavender.

Once again, thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

Being a Viet Nam veteran, the memorial does play with my emotions more than it might some others. With that said, I have never been to The Wall and left without seeing many others, who were obviously not veterans, in tears. I've been there three times now, and each time I tell myself "no more tears". That hasn't happened and I suppose that is as it should be for our brothers who gave their all. Thanks again. - Will

author comment

Thank you for your courage and service. And for sharing your poem.

The reason I'll likely never go there is simple. It is in D.C.....But I have seen it via T.V. many times and I get bleary eyes every time. The last stanza of your poem is really good as it tells how the wall can touch you back

Hi Scribbler.
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. The granite truly whispers and the wall can touch your soul. All the memorials and monuments in D.C. are amazing, but the wall is on a level by itself.

Thanks again, Will

author comment

Hi Lynn
I think this is the first time I read you so a warm welcome to Neopoet.
I appreciate the piece for many reasons.
Thank you for sharing. Looking forward to reading more from you.


Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words ........Robert Frost☺

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Thank you Rula for reading and for your comments. Much appreciated. - Will

author comment
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