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Emotions In Seasons: How I feel and my favorites
December finds me at my hearth
warm-faced, poking up the fire.
Sliding into my favorite chair
book in hand, new worlds inspired.
Outside, snow is softly falling,
accumulating a blanket of white
while I recline dreaming of good wishes,
candles lit on this Yule night.
January, the Sign of the Wolf
meeting with the full moon,
coming together in words and deeds
bring all aspects of life in tune.
Soon, March winds insistently rage
Mother Nature in her frosted gown
gives way to spring's zephyrs
floral scents breeze through my town.
Joys of June brings our anniversary
and celebration for the day of his birth.
Happiness floods this month of my redemption
vast wealth of his affection, not a dearth.
Finally comes the Autumn months, stillness reigns
gathering on All Hallows Eve, eventide of All Saint's Day.
Feelings of awe overcome me, in between night and day,
quiet observance in shadows, keeping the hounds at bey!
Comments
Rula
Sun, 2022-12-04 07:04
Dear cat
I thought you're doing great here with your perception of the four seasons and how do your emotions go from one to another. The contest asked for your emotions at your favorite one, but you were really successful to make us, the readers, feel like every season is special for you.
A winner entry indeed!
Best wishes dear and
thank you for sharing
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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Candlewitch
Sun, 2022-12-04 10:47
dear Rula,
thank you for reading my little escape from everyday living/problems into what I feel in my heart and spirit. I appreciate your reading and response :) thank you so much for your time and attention.
*love ya, Cat
*
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Geezer
Sun, 2022-12-04 09:35
Although...
the meter gets rough here and there, I am appreciative of the story and the way you have gone through the moods and the seasons. Nice work. ~ Geez.
.
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Candlewitch
Sun, 2022-12-04 10:51
dear Geez,
I would deeply appreciate your thoughts on how to clean this up...I wrote from my heart and not my head...so if you have any suggestions, I would be both intrigued and grateful to entertain them.
* love & hugs, Cat
*
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Jackweb
Sun, 2022-12-04 09:59
Beautiful!
Poetically energetic and powerful imagery " January the sign of the wolf"!
How wonderful is your eloquence, pouring into my voids, creativity overflowing and flourishing with sincerity and distinction. Very beautiful.
.
"By virtue of creativity, my literary genre is poetry".
~Jackweb
Candlewitch
Sun, 2022-12-04 10:55
thank you, Jack,
I am always energized when I read your comments. you have a knack of making people happy! it is good to hear from you!
*love, Cat
*
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Geezer
Sun, 2022-12-04 14:34
Thoughts...
This is my feel of the ryhthm and meter here:
Add a comma after hand.
Delete the [with] and add a [d] to inspire,
the word is strong enough that the extra [d] won't affect it.
Leave off the [ly] on velvet or leave out the word velvet altogether,
Say lit instead of alight, and say most holy night or [on this Yule night].
[To bring] instead of bringing
Delete [me] the rest of the line is fine
Get rid of the [and] use a comma, stillness reigns
Gather on Allhallow's eve, eventide of All Saint's Day
Feelings of awe come over me, in separation of night and day
quiet observance in shadows, keeping the hounds at bey!
Thank you for the punctuation, it helped guide me here.
Title's good, the language is better, and the theme very nice.
As always, the suggestions are to use or not, it's your work!
I hope this helps. Good luck, ~ Geez.
.
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Candlewitch
Sun, 2022-12-04 17:30
dear Geez,
thank you for giving this poem a good glance over and offering suggestions. I agree with all of them and will employ them when I get on-line tomorrow.I'm out of energy (spoons)
*love, Cat
*
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Geezer
Mon, 2022-12-05 16:25
Much better...
you are getting the hang of rhyming, although you claim it not! ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
lovedly
Mon, 2022-12-05 11:35
Cats cannot copy and paste
but delete
OUTSIDE
it always snows outside
to me it appears redundant
but
velvet would or may be better .....
may c
all d best
Now I don't
Contest
Candlewitch
Mon, 2022-12-05 16:48
dear lovedly,
I appreciate your assistance, but in this case, "outside" is an event. thank you, and *hugs, Cat
*
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Rosewood Apothecary
Tue, 2022-12-06 14:20
Superb
That’s a lot of ground to cover in 6 stanzas. As always you’ve got a pretty refined poem here. This one is really tight and flowing. A nice meandering dream through the seasons of your mind.
Love it
Tim
Candlewitch
Tue, 2022-12-06 14:33
dear Tim,
thank you, but I cannot take all the credit, as Geezer helped a great deal in smoothing it out. thank you for reading this and commenting!
;) Cat
*
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Rosewood Apothecary
Tue, 2022-12-06 16:08
Oh he’s a great editor
As are you. I’ll forget that time you roasted me for starting lines with conjunctions, which I now think about every time I write and I look for it in other people’s writing as well.
Candlewitch
Wed, 2022-12-07 05:44
dear Tim,
you have a much more gentle touch than I. you deliver your observations with thoughtfulness it is your nature. I deliver like a sledge hammer. I admire your tactful ways . I shall try to be more like you.
*hugs, Cat
*
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Rosewood Apothecary
Wed, 2022-12-07 12:53
I’m flattered
This particular poem is similar to my writing at least in rhythm and rhyme. I think it feels like home to me; the chambers of my psyche, if you take my meaning. Geezer is also similar in that way and like I said he’s good with helping out. I urge you to both continue to be unapologetically yourselves. I also do like to think I’ve got a trick or two I can teach through my writing.
Again, nice job. I really like this little story. I learned a lot about you from 24 lines.
Tim
Rosewood Apothecary
Wed, 2022-12-07 12:55
Also correction to above comment
* I’ll (never) forget that time…about the conjunctions. It made me such a better writer instantly.
Candlewitch
Wed, 2022-12-07 15:35
thank you so much...
for all you are and all you will learn to be...you are ours, now and we are your family! a rag-tag group of poets.
*H & L, Cat
*
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RoseBlack
Wed, 2022-12-07 19:02
What a wonderful story
I am really only fond of one season, the one that makes me look normal even if it is only for a couple of months! Great job!
~RoseBlack~
Candlewitch
Thu, 2022-12-08 05:47
thank you,
dear Carrie, you have made me smile.
*hugs, Cat
*
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Seren
Mon, 2023-01-30 00:57
Dear Sis.
Thus is a wonderful poem, is winter your favourite season cosseting in the warmth of the cold months? I only ask because it was the only season with more than one stanza? I think your language use was on point. I can't see anything I'd change. I thoroughly enjoyed the read I would love to hibernate in the winter before a blazing fire, I love the feeling of nesting in the warm months maybe one day I'll get to experience that snowy isolation.
Brava!!!
Love you Sis xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Candlewitch
Mon, 2023-01-30 05:38
my dearest jayne
yes it is when we have an operating fireplace. this year it is not so. we are waiting for repairs. the company near us is overbooked. I also love the Autumn moths leading up to Candlemas (a pagan/wiccan holiday.) thank you for reading this and responding. I love sharing things with you!
*love, Cat
*
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Geezer
Tue, 2023-01-31 12:36
Seeing as how...
you have completely changed the whole poem; I will assume that you weren't satisfied with what you had.
So, here are a few things that I thought would help. I would change 2nd line of stanza two, to read:
It accumulates a new blanket of white, or
Accumulating a blanket of white
[meeting] with the full moon?
Delete [thoughts]
bring[s]?
giv[ing] delete [as] from end of line
Delete [a] from line: vast wealth of his affection, [not] a dearth
Feelings of awe overcome me, in [between night and day]?
I think that it is just a matter of a little adjustment of meter
to make this great poem!
You know that these are just my suggestions, you can use or discard any or all.
P.S. thanks for the punctuation! LoL You CAN do it, but you decide if you really need it or not.
~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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Candlewitch
Tue, 2023-01-31 12:44
hi Geeze,
I'm pretty lazy today, but I will give your suggestions due diligence. soon, I hope you know I appreciate the time and energy you put into your critiques? you are a peach! thank you, Geez!
*love and hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
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Geezer
Tue, 2023-01-31 13:00
Awwww...
I know how much you appreciate my critiques, and I will always give it my best shot. I just love having such good work to work with! Love and hugs back ~ Geez.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
Candlewitch
Tue, 2023-01-31 13:04
*huge smiles :)
;)
*
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