Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Spring Comes
Fields of springy clover
beneath my barefoot toes,
dance-happy feet kick up
a delight everyone knows!
Green, green all around,
a heart full of joys untold
rolling over and over in
nature's paradise hold!
In gardens of my growing hopes
tulips, buttercups and crocus
flourish healthily blossoming,
as Spring comes into focus.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage:
Contest:
Content level:
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
User login
Author information
Region & Country
Northwestern Wisconsin USA
Favorite Poets
Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Carlos Castaneda and many more.
Other recent work
Active Workshops & Contests
Contest
Workshop
- Splash Pool: How to use imagery in poetry..
- Wading Pool: Neopoet How To Video Resources
- Olympic Pool: Earn A Poem Workshop 2
- Olympic Pool: Earn A Poem Workshop 1
- Plunge Pool: Stream Workshop
Comments
neopoet
Tue, 2024-03-19 17:31
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Spring Comes" effectively uses vivid imagery and sensory details to evoke the feeling of spring. The use of phrases like "Fields of springy clover," "dance-happy feet kick up," and "Green, green all around" helps to create a vibrant and lively picture of the season in the reader's mind.
However, the poem could benefit from a more consistent rhythm and rhyme scheme. The first stanza follows an AABB rhyme scheme, but the second and third stanzas do not. This inconsistency can be jarring for the reader and disrupt the flow of the poem.
Additionally, the use of the phrase "a heart full of joys untold" in the second stanza is somewhat ambiguous. It's unclear whether this refers to the speaker's own joy or the joy of the spring season itself. Clarifying this could help to deepen the emotional resonance of the poem.
Finally, the poem could benefit from a more unique and specific description of spring. While the images of green fields and blooming flowers are common symbols of the season, incorporating more personal or unexpected details could help to make the poem stand out and resonate more deeply with readers.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
scribbler
Tue, 2024-03-19 15:10
Hi Cat
"in gardens of my growing hopes" ....A most excellent phrase
Candlewitch
Tue, 2024-03-19 17:57
Thank you, Scrib,
I appreciate that!
* love & hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentLavender
Tue, 2024-03-19 20:25
Spring Comes
Hello, Cat,
I agree! "...gardens of my growing hopes..." is excellent. And isn't that the very foundation of Spring? Hope? Lovely poetry.
Thank you!
Lx
Candlewitch
Wed, 2024-03-20 06:28
Dear Lavender,
I am so happy my poem has touched both you and Stan with the same line! thank you for being someone whose talents I both admire and aspire to reach. You (both) write the pinnacle of great poetry.
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentWords Ablaze
Wed, 2024-03-20 11:28
Hi
For me the beginning is strong, the imagery, the rhyme, they are all coming together nicely same goes for the last stanza, quite a finish, some splendid lines about hope.
Candlewitch
Wed, 2024-03-20 13:47
hello Words Ablaze,
for reading and commenting on this piece! Your critique is wonderful. thank you for telling me what you liked, I appreciate it.
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentRoseBlack
Wed, 2024-03-20 16:50
I wish
Spring would show up here. We had it for a few days last week and now it's cold and snowy. Lovely poem. So glad better weather is hopefully on the horizon.
~RoseBlack~
Candlewitch
Wed, 2024-03-20 18:15
Dear Carrie,
I hope you get your wish! thank you for the read and comment!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentSteamboat_Denny
Fri, 2024-03-22 00:15
This is a very cheerful piece
This is a very cheerful piece that really evokes the joy of spring in the air. I'm not sure if you're following a set form or not but your use of rhyme was affective and I especially love that you managed to find a rhyme for focus
Candlewitch
Fri, 2024-03-22 06:43
Hello Steamboat, (is it Denny?)
Thank you for reading my poem and commenting on it. I am glad you enjoyed it. It just came out that way!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author comment