The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Vampire III" presents a vivid narrative with a clear progression of events, which is commendable. The use of capitalization for pronouns referring to the vampire character adds a sense of reverence or fear, which is effective in setting the tone.

However, the poem could benefit from more consistent use of punctuation. For instance, some lines end with a period while others do not, which can disrupt the flow of the poem. Consistent punctuation would help guide the reader through the narrative more smoothly.

The poem also tends to tell rather than show. For example, the line "I swooned with the shock of it all!" tells the reader how the speaker feels rather than showing it through imagery or metaphor. The poem could be strengthened by replacing such instances with more descriptive language.

Lastly, the poem's rhythm and meter could be improved for a more engaging read. The lines vary significantly in length and syllable count, which can make the poem feel disjointed. A more consistent rhythm would enhance the overall flow and impact of the poem.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

love to see this as a novel! Romantic Horror! Very well done, on a level with Stephen King.
Prose at its best. ~ Geez.
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Dear Cat, Sorry, This did nothing for me either. For once I'll disagree with Geezer. I have everything Stephen King wrote. I'll say no more on that. Again, like the others it just hints at evil and menace without making the blood run cold. Yes, you use all the right words that one would expect in a vampire tale but you seem to have sacrificed the passion of the tale for the use of these words. To me It lacks subtlety. Others may, and will disagree. Maybe it's because of the huge amount of reading I do. This is one of my favourite genres. Alex

Hello, Cat,
I can sense the vampire has the narrator completely under control - mentally, emotionally. You've captured the imagery of "the act" - this is bloody graphic stuff! It feels very formal in its telling, which adds to the cold, almost stoical nature of both characters. I've noticed the three entries are each set in precise moments in time. All the action takes place within a tight time frame: meeting him, unable to resist his temptation, and then being physically taken by him. So much could happen before, in between, and certainly so much can happen after part III. I agree with Geezer...this would make a fantastic full story. I am intrigued! I hope you continue this series, at least occasionally, and let us know a little more background to each character and what happens next!
Thank you!
Lx
I just cannot bring myself to use a capital "H" when referring to this guy - too creepy! :)

I love the story and the way you presented it. It made me think Shakespeare often took known stories, but adding intent and motivation of the characters.
I took this on many levels, the power of irresistible love, or not being able to resist a dark power, or being partner to that dark power; after all see felt him in her dream.
What I like is you take a dark story, and it is not even dark , as with inuendo you give the female full character, and I am left wondering about her…
I also like the smoothness with which the poems read. I did find the end of the first stanza in the first poem ended very abruptly., throwing of the rhythm