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Where Were You Last Night?... Challenge - July

Where were you last night?
The night has been so long
you gave me such a fright
when I heard your mournful song

I heard you calling to the darkness
it answered back again
I worried about a weakness
going back to your old friends

Voices in the moonlight
howling closer still
sounds rustling in the night
eating at your will

Stealthy footsteps in the shadows
the eerie music of their song
where it comes from, no one knows
I know you're aching to belong

Come back to me in the dawn
scratch upon the door
but tonight, you're too far gone
you won't remember anymore

So wait until the sunrise, dear
I'm safe inside from where you prowl
I'll stay right here, don't you fear
and I'll listen to you howl

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
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How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
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Not Explicit Content
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Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem, "Where Were You Last Night?... Challenge - July," demonstrates a strong command of rhythm and rhyme, which effectively contributes to the overall mood and tone of the piece. The repetition of the question "Where were you last night?" and the consistent use of imagery related to darkness and night help to create a sense of mystery and unease.

However, there are areas where the poem could be improved. The narrative seems to hint at a deeper story or context, but it remains somewhat vague. For instance, the lines "going back to your old friends" and "I know you're aching to belong" suggest a backstory that isn't fully explored. Providing more specific details or context could help the reader connect more deeply with the narrative and the emotions of the speaker.

The use of language could also be more varied. While the repetition of certain words and phrases contributes to the poem's rhythm and mood, it also risks becoming monotonous. Experimenting with synonyms or different ways of expressing similar ideas could add more texture and interest to the language.

Finally, the poem's structure is somewhat inconsistent. While most stanzas are quatrains, the penultimate stanza has only three lines. This disrupts the rhythm and could be distracting for the reader. Consider revising this stanza to match the structure of the others, or alternatively, introduce more variation in stanza length throughout the poem to make this choice seem more intentional.

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Hello, Geezer,
Werewolves - and love, and the moonlit night. Great take on the contest! Very clever!
L

Just a little something I thought of while listening to an old CD of wolves howling. ~ Geez.
.

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author comment

Some of my favorite creatures, wolves in general. Great write.

~RoseBlack~

Glad to tickle your fancy. ~ Geez.
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There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment
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