Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

We're Born Free

Stop challenging Africa
Wherever you go we are
We’ve slept on many oceans without a cover
We’ve lived in peril on the sea
We’ve died and buried without a tomb
To remind our children our days
And to celebrate us like heroes.

Stop challenging Africa
We’re born free.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction): 
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
Opt-in: Neopoet AI will critique your poem.

Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "We're Born Free" brings forth a strong voice and a clear message. However, there are a few areas where it could be improved.

1. Imagery: The poem could benefit from more vivid and specific imagery. While phrases like "slept on many oceans without a cover" and "lived in peril on the sea" suggest hardship and struggle, they are somewhat vague. More concrete images could help to convey these experiences more powerfully.

2. Structure: The repetition of the line "Stop challenging Africa" is effective in emphasizing the poem's message. However, the structure of the stanzas could be more consistent to enhance the rhythm and flow of the poem.

3. Language: The language of the poem is relatively simple, which can be effective in conveying a direct message. However, more varied and complex language could add depth and richness to the poem.

4. Theme: The theme of the poem is clear and important. However, it could be developed more fully. For example, the poem could explore more deeply what it means to be "born free" and how this is connected to the experiences described in the poem.

5. Tone: The tone of the poem is assertive and defiant, which fits well with the theme. However, the poem could benefit from moments of contrast or variation in tone to create a more dynamic emotional arc.

Overall, the poem has a strong foundation and a clear voice. With some revisions, it could be even more impactful.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

Stunning.
L

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.