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Guardian Angel
Only the wanting remains
as the struggle goes unspoken
with tears on the horizon,
whispering her name.
She feels the stirring echoes
of your heart's gentle touch
she could never tell you
she misses you so very much
Now you're her special angel
watching down from above,
guiding her uncertain footsteps
tenderly with all your love.
Knowing your spirit never left her
will bring her comfort from the pain,
when the struggle goes unnamed
your love gives shelter from the rain.
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Northwestern Wisconsin USA
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Edgar Allan Poe, William Blake, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, Carlos Castaneda and many more.
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Comments
neopoet
Wed, 2024-06-19 18:20
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Guardian Angel" presents a poignant exploration of loss, longing, and the comforting notion of a protective spirit. It effectively uses imagery and emotional language to evoke a sense of yearning and solace.
However, there are areas that could benefit from further refinement. The poem could gain strength from a more consistent rhythm and rhyme scheme. The current scheme appears to be irregular, which can disrupt the flow for the reader.
The use of cliches such as "watching down from above" and "your love gives shelter from the rain" could be replaced with more original and personal imagery to deepen the emotional impact of the poem.
The phrase "the struggle goes unnamed" is used twice in the poem. While repetition can be a powerful tool in poetry, it's important to ensure that it adds value to the piece. In this case, it might be worth considering whether this repetition enhances the poem's message or if it could be replaced with a different line to add more depth or a new perspective.
Lastly, the poem could benefit from a more concrete exploration of the relationship between the two characters. Providing specific details or anecdotes could make the emotions more tangible for the reader and strengthen the overall impact of the poem.
Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact
RoseBlack
Wed, 2024-06-19 23:44
Knowing
Our loved ones are still looking after us can bring such a feeling of comfort, yet the feeling of wanting to be with them again. Grief comes in so many forms. Finding solace in having our own personal angel seems to ease the pain. Well done.
~RoseBlack~
Candlewitch
Sat, 2024-06-22 15:08
Dear Carrie,
There are so many ways that a person can grieve over a loss... my last personal loss was my cat; Bennington (Benny, for short) but this poem is about my Grandma. (my fathers mother) She was one of my favorite people and relative. thanks for reading and leaving a nice comment.
*hugs, Cat
*
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author commentLeslie
Thu, 2024-06-20 00:40
Cat
Beautifully done, I couldn't have responded more appropriately than Rose did and so I won't. Great!!!
The power of our language can and will change the world.
Successively until our languages become one!
Candlewitch
Sat, 2024-06-22 15:10
Dear Leslie,
thank you for the read an comment!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentkowque
Fri, 2024-06-21 22:07
This poem echoes
❤️
Koki
Candlewitch
Sat, 2024-06-22 15:12
hello,
Thank you koki
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
author commentkowque
Fri, 2024-06-21 22:10
I had a close friend
Tell me she lost her baby
And they had to book her in to give birth to her dead baby.
I think I've never understood loss,but she had to carry it. Not just carry it,but,live with it every second.
And then the world expects you to carry on. I think people that can navigate grief are the strongest.
Your poem reminded me of that
Koki
Candlewitch
Sat, 2024-06-22 15:18
Dear Koki,
I think you are absolutely right. My favorite Aunt was in the same situation as your friend. She had to carry her dead baby the full nine months. We all were very sorry for her. and my uncle brought her a flower a day. which I thought was very sweet.
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.
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