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Tree Hugger...
When I awoke, I felt so bad
I went to hug my favorite tree
I thought about the fears I had
no one would fear, but me
"Too bad", I thought I heard it say
The bark, it scratched my face
I hugged it all the tighter
As my mind began to race
I'm losing it, I really am
"Too bad", I heard it say
Are my ears deciving me
Have I gone all the way?
"I will comfort you my friend
hold me close again."
Take me down the rabbit-hole
Take from me, my pain.
"My leaves will shield you from the sun
I will hold back the breeze.
My roots will anchor the soil, dear sir,
where you are upon your knees"
"I will do all this for you,
because I love you so."
My friend, the tree I love you,
now don't ever let me go.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
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Content level:
Not Explicit Content
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Comments
neopoet
Fri, 2024-08-09 03:20
Neopoet AI (premium) - 5-29-23 version
The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:
The poem "Tree Hugger" presents a vivid and engaging narrative with a strong emotional core. The use of personification, giving the tree a voice and emotions, is an effective way to explore the themes of comfort, companionship, and the healing power of nature.
However, there are a few areas that could be improved for clarity and impact. The transition between the speaker's inner thoughts and the tree's dialogue can be confusing. Consider using formatting or punctuation to distinguish between the two. For instance, quotation marks could be used to indicate the tree's dialogue.
The rhythm and rhyme scheme are inconsistent, which can disrupt the flow of the poem. For example, the second and fourth lines of the first stanza rhyme, but this pattern is not maintained throughout the poem. Consistency in rhyme and rhythm can create a more satisfying reading experience.
The poem could also benefit from more use of sensory details and imagery. While the dialogue between the speaker and the tree is compelling, more descriptions of the physical experience of hugging the tree, the environment around them, or the speaker's emotional state could add depth and richness to the poem.
Finally, the line "Take me down the rabbit-hole" is a clear reference to "Alice in Wonderland", but its connection to the rest of the poem is unclear. If this is an important element of the poem, consider expanding on this reference or making its relevance more apparent. If it's not crucial to the poem's meaning, it might be best to replace it with something that fits more seamlessly into the narrative.
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Alex Tanner
Fri, 2024-08-09 05:22
Good Morning Geezer
Really enjoyed this. despite being, I think, a serious piece there was a certain lightness about it it. Now, if I may, I shall be a bit picky. You don't need the quotation mark at the start of the 5th as it is a continuation of the 4th. Also quotations should be preceded by a colon. Alex.
Candlewitch
Fri, 2024-08-09 06:20
hello Geezer,
the word kneel is repeated...perhaps you could replace the first with: stoop or bow? Cat
*
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Leslie
Fri, 2024-08-09 06:58
G
I thought this was great and I've been down the rabbit hole. I am sorry if you are suffering. The light of day is dawning.
Today never knows what tommorow will bring!
Rula
Fri, 2024-08-09 10:39
Sir Gee
I remember doing this once or twice when I was s child.
It certainly gives some comfort. You feel the anguish escape through the bark and down to the roots. I'm not sure how much could a tree take of this.
Love this one and the title fits really well.
Thank you for sharing.
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Lavender
Fri, 2024-08-09 22:21
Tree Hugger
Hello, Geezer,
I know you and I have shared our love for our dearest friends, the trees. This is especially endearing. I love it!
Thank you!
Lx
scribbler
Sun, 2024-08-18 21:22
Hi Guy
I figure you already know I would enjoy this. I have been known to find great comfort in familiar trees too
Geezer
Mon, 2024-08-19 08:43
This tree...
is at the back of my yard; it holds up the embankment from the street and back yard above and behind me. I figure that it is around a hundred years old. We have much older and bigger at the front of my house across the street and down at the end of the block [dead end], but I feel a special connection to this one for some reason. Thank you for the read and comment. ~Geez.
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Candlewitch
Wed, 2024-08-21 12:04
Dear Geez,
When we lived on the farm, we had a perfect tree for climbing. I only fell out of it a couple times a week! I loved it!
*hugs, Cat
*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.