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Soft Ball

Soft ball
A game of choice
With moving arms and legs
Showing talent and learned skills
My sport

Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Soft Ball" is a concise piece that attempts to capture the essence of a sport and its significance to the speaker. The poem could benefit from a few improvements to enhance its clarity and depth.

1. Imagery: The poem could use more vivid and specific imagery to make the reader feel more engaged. For instance, instead of "With moving arms and legs", consider describing a specific action or moment in the game that can evoke a strong visual image.

2. Emotional Depth: The poem could delve deeper into the emotional significance of the sport to the speaker. "My sport" suggests a personal connection, but it would be beneficial to explore this connection more thoroughly. Why is it their sport? What emotions or memories does it evoke?

3. Rhythm and Flow: The rhythm of the poem seems a bit disjointed, especially in the second line. Consider revising the syllable count or word choice to create a smoother flow.

4. Word Choice: The phrase "learned skills" is somewhat vague. Consider using more specific language to convey what these skills are or how they manifest in the game.

5. Title: The title "Soft Ball" is straightforward, but it might be more engaging to choose a title that hints at the poem's deeper themes or the speaker's unique perspective on the sport.

In conclusion, while the poem has a clear theme and purpose, it could benefit from more specific imagery, deeper emotional exploration, improved rhythm, and more precise word choice.

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from your usual stuff. I like this, it seems as though I have listened to someone explain what they like about the game. Nice. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Thank you, I was trying to write a cinquain:

Noun
Description of noun
Action
Feeling or effect
Synonym of the first noun

As suggested by Lavender

author comment

Hello, Clentin,
One of my favorite past times, and current loves! I can tell you love it, too!
L

I do, thanks to you I am trying to get it right. I will practice and try a few more then move onto another form.
Thanks for your support,

author comment
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