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Rose of Romance

Submitted by Blue-eyed Bolla on Sat, 2023-04-29 07:34

I’d waited and wandered,
and time I had squandered,
in search of my bonnie, wee lass.

Long years I’d invested
in searches; I’d quested!
My missing her just wouldn't pass.

Through seasons of sorrows
and tragic tomorrows,
love kept her alive in my heart.

Last words she had spoken,
this heart they had broken:
“My parents, both say we must part.”

But it’s been worth waiting,
with breath held and bating
for girl, with a face, oh, so fair.

For she was my first love,
my one only true love,
my rose of romance, oh, so rare!

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
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Last few words: 
for all the romantics.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

neopoet

Sat, 2023-04-29 07:34

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The below is a computer generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Rose of Romance" is a beautiful tribute to a lost love. The speaker's dedication and unwavering commitment to finding their "bonnie, wee lass" is admirable, and their description of the girl's beauty and importance to them is heartfelt.

The poem effectively uses rhyme and rhythm to create a sense of longing and nostalgia. The repetition of the phrase "oh, so" is a nice touch, emphasizing the speaker's admiration for their lost love.

However, there are a few areas where the poem could be improved. The line "through seasons of sorrows" feels a bit cliché and could be replaced with a more unique description of the speaker's emotional journey. Additionally, the line "Long years I’d invested in searches" could be made more concise by removing "in searches."

One possible edit could be:

Through heartache and despair, I searched everywhere,
In hopes of finding my bonnie, wee lass.

Overall, "Rose of Romance" is a touching poem that effectively conveys the speaker's love and dedication to their lost love.

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Geezer

Sat, 2023-04-29 12:21

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sure that your Coralie, is the fairest of fair, and she will forgive the description of her as being a bonnie wee lass, when we know all of your ladies are sumptuous, curvy and being of rather handsome face. Oooh sorry, I didn't mean to stir up any
trouble for you. I didn't know she was listening. LoL
Another great poem about your lovelies. Nothing I would change. ~ Geez.
.

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