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REALITY
I dreamed I slept upon a cloud
of thought which spanned the galaxy
enfolding my form in quantum shroud
which set my sparking photons free.
Each spark transversed the if and when;
future and past were all the same
from bang to final blackness, then
that first time life was brought to flame.
Within the cloud were sounds so strange
clicks and whirrs and things unheard
but ordered so as to arrange
into thoughts and even words.
All the forms I saw that night
of sapient beings through the universe,
once understood they lost all fright.
( they likely thought that I was worse )
Then I awoke, the cloud was gone
yet I wondered could it really be
that everything since time's first dawn
depended on its being perceived....by me ?
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Last few words:
All readers please keep in mind that I was thinking of You when I wrote this Bwaa ha ha!
Editing stage:
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Comments
Geezer
Sat, 2017-07-29 21:37
Damn!...
that is just about the best rhythm, cadence, pattern I have ever read of yours! Only crit. is the double [the] in the 1st line of second verse. Nice ending! ~ Gee.
.
There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.
scribbler
Sun, 2017-07-30 07:11
what what
double double the the? lol Thanks for the spot and thanks for dropping by and leaving such kind comment.........stan
author commentbrittle light
Sun, 2017-07-30 14:19
Stan is in my head again!
I love the idea of "Solipsism" to play with when I'm angry at the world (not often)
I could smite my foes before they were born
credit myself the writer of the greatest poems
be considered the "most interesting man"
and marry Bridget Bardot at 19 years old.
of course, your poem looks at the idea a little more dispassionately, but is fun in it's own right.
and obviously written by me...Bwaa ha ha
Al
scribbler
Sun, 2017-07-30 19:39
Hi Al
i was watching a show on the science channel the other night in which the argument was put forth that the universe exists as it does entirely due to our viewing it. Even had an experiment that confirmed that observation affects the manner in which matter behaves. Then there's the "cloud" which we use in comps.........Thanks for dropping by or for dropping by in the future or past according to how it is viewed lol.......stan
author commentbrittle light
Sun, 2017-07-30 21:00
so, it's not actually about
so, it's not actually about solipsistic ideas.
but more about our abilities to perceive, affecting what we think of as reality, that doesn't really exist until someone has a sense perception of some phantom assemblage of proto-photons and then names it...calling it into existence ...kind of like a god speaking the word, and thus made a world.
I'm just messing with you, 'cause I hate it when I get caught mis-interpreting a poem.
I can't just say wow! I was wrong. and leave it at that.
something about ego, or pride, or simply being an a**hole.
anyway, thanks for pointing out the way your poem came about
instead of leaving me hanging. thinking what a smart ass I was.
your a good man, Stan
regards,.
Al
scribbler
Sun, 2017-07-30 21:32
Writers
write and readers make their own interpretations. If the two are different it is the writer's fault for not getting his/her point across clearly.........stan
author commentEumolpus
Sun, 2017-07-30 20:25
your poem
As a poem based on a immediately presented theme- dreaming you slept ON a cloud of thought..
I can't grab the image..the cloud is a physical thing, thought is not, I can only imagine a dream in which the dreamer somehow becomes part of the cloud...
The concept in the end I believe is one of the big themes from the existentialists, of being and nothingness, that you are the epicenter of reality.
I am not religious but i like the idea of some of the Kabbalah and some mathematicians believe that god is pure thought, (and also jointed to nature if you like Spinoza).
So to your final question, the end it's down to Krishnamurti,- who would say "these questions are not possible for our brains to answer, why bother?" Yet it is the curse of poetry to do so!
Eumolpus
I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance
ee cummings
scribbler
Sun, 2017-07-30 21:41
Hi
There are some physicists who think there is a universal "cloud" of energy caused by thought. Not just human thought but alien as well. they posit that the flashes of sudden genius a few display are instances of these folks "logging on" to this cloud for brief periods of time. This would explain the intuitive leaps that seem to come out of nowhere. Thanks for dropping by........stan. PS the "observation affects reality" experiment. Scientists set up a photon emitter and placed a metal plate in front of it with a tiny hole in it. They then adjusted the emitter until the photons were all passing throughout the hole to a detector on the other side. They left the room. The photon stream stopped hitting the target hole. Upon returning and looking the stream went back on target. And this same thing happened every time they tried it. their observing distorted reality
author commenttop.ksgnr
Mon, 2017-07-31 05:14
wow!
I love this. I am personally about to start pursuing my career as a psychiatrist, and the simple idea of perception fascinates me! this is truly amazing work! thank you for sharing your beautiful art with us!
scribbler
Mon, 2017-07-31 14:45
hello!
Always good to see a new person show up on a poem of mine. Welcome to neopoet. If you have any problems navigating feel free to ask me or any member......stan
author commentlovedly
Mon, 2017-07-31 16:49
i am not new stan
but I never fly by your poem
i am stealing ur word....
'''' sapient '''
can't yet get 100 used by poets
and solipsistic above
i will have to visit google
BRIGHT LIGHT!
lovedly
Mon, 2017-07-31 16:54
got it
adjective
1.
of or characterized by
solipsism,
or the theory that only the self exists, or can be proved to exist:
Her treatment philosophy dealt with
madness
as a complete, self-contained, solipsistic world that sane people are not able to enter.
in other words NARCISSISTIC at its worst
like is loved
three new words hurray
what a lucy day
solipsism sapient and narcissistic
scribbler
Mon, 2017-07-31 17:36
now loved
You know you're not narcissistic, you're just self centered lol (kidding).........stan
author commentlovedly
Mon, 2017-07-31 18:02
you call coal
no not black
but it's not any
VIBGYOR
LOL LOLlolllllllllllll
egoistic cancerous self centred and what not
along side the river lying nude
but not narcissistic
how rude of you
you will just come and kick me
ah jess would love the honours
to push me over into the River of NO retrun
and ask has lovedly
G O N E
many would love to say
YES
with the
WIND
Is Hemingway coming/listening
may be refining his word
in the revision
hope he will include
my existence