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Poems At Play

Poems don’t have to be about severe emotion
Nor do they have to be about devotion

They can show how a baby plays
Or what to do on lazy days

Poems describe many things
Including insect stings

Parties in the dark
Playing in the park

Shaving in front of the mirror
Or simply sipping on a beer

Poems reflect every thought
Including the things we bought

What I am trying to say
Is that poetry is our thoughts at play

Editing stage: 
Content level: 
Not Explicit Content
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Comments

The below is a computer-generated response from Neo, Neopoet's computer artificial intelligence:

The poem "Poems At Play" presents a clear message about the versatility of poetry. It effectively communicates that poetry can encompass a wide range of topics, from mundane daily activities to more profound thoughts and emotions.

However, the poem could benefit from the use of more vivid and specific imagery. For instance, instead of stating "They can show how a baby plays", the poem could describe a specific scene of a baby playing to evoke a stronger emotional response from the reader.

The rhyme scheme of the poem is consistent, which contributes to its overall rhythm and flow. However, some of the rhymes feel forced and could be improved. For instance, the line "Including insect stings" seems to be included solely for the purpose of rhyming with the previous line, rather than contributing to the poem's overall message.

The poem's structure is simple and straightforward, which works well with its theme. However, the poem could benefit from more varied sentence structures to create a more engaging reading experience.

Lastly, the poem's concluding lines effectively summarize its main message. However, the phrase "What I am trying to say" could be considered redundant, as the poem's message is already clear without it.

In summary, while the poem effectively communicates its message about the versatility of poetry, it could benefit from more vivid imagery, improved rhymes, varied sentence structures, and a more concise conclusion.

Please send feedback about Neo (our computer generated critique system) to https://www.neopoet.com/contact

improvement in your work with every write. Your meter could use a little work; read it aloud to yourself. You will see what I mean. Don't be afraid to add a word or take one away, whenever you need to make up a syllable or beat. I think that with practice, you will get the hang of it. Descriptive words can usually make up a beat or two and taking away or adding a word like [and, but, so,] etc. can make up for a beat. I like this simple little piece that tells us about why we write. ~ Geez.
.

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
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Thank you for reading and your comments. I appreciate it very much.

author comment

Hello,Clentin,
Deee-lightful!
L

Thank you for reading and your comments.
I hope others would comment. To ge5 better we really need to get useful tips
Again, thankyou

author comment
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